History Repeating
by gypsyrin
Summary: Based on the Ultimecia/Rinoa theory... sorta. They all think that Rinoa is really Ultimecia but something keeps telling the young Sorceress that her friends are wrong. Follows Squall and how he attempts to deal. Squinoa. -chapters are being re-written-
1. Little Blue Folder

**Ah yes I'm back and I do hope you all like this... The first chapters pretty short, but its only because I felt that it should end the way it did. Reviews are greatly appreciated!! **

**Oh and I don't own any of the characters so don't sue me please**!

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"...The tests show no other reasons for us to question this theory Squall!" an older woman with dark hair, that has been lightly covered with wisps of grey from over the years, explains while she pushes a light blue folder towards the me from across her desk. This conversation seems to have her at the end of her rope due to the unwillingness that I provide.

"Do them again Dr.Kadowaki! Its impossible for my... for Rinoa to be that...that hideous monster!!" I demand as my fist comes in contact with the small disgusting folder and I push it back with a small bit of force. I can't take this! She's wrong, she has to be Rinoa's to perfect, she's to loving. Hell she has feelings and thats not something I can say about the wretched woman in disscusion.

Fear and determination must be written all over my features for she sighs and picks up the cause for this un-needed argument and places it gently in my gloved hands.

"_Please _Squall, just look at what it says, only then will I listen to what you have to say, otherwise..I don't want to hear it" she stands her ground for a few seconds to put some type of meaning behind her words, then turns and leads me out of her office and into the infirmary's hallway. My heart begins to feel heavy and I sigh as I will my feet to move.

"Just look at it, that's all I ask of you" I can hear a slight edge to her voice as she all but begs me, her gaze holds mine for a few seconds and then she turns her body to wander over the line of students in the infirmaries small waiting area. I follow her gaze and see at least 15 or so students before us, from beside me the Doctor crosses her arms across her chest."If you don't have a fever or are even remotely close to death, I _**will **_call your instructors and have them assign you a 600 page essay on the boy that called behemoth... do you all understand me?!"

I can see them all nod and a few of them even groan as they begin to gather their belongings before they begin their procession back out into the main foyer. More than half chance a few quick glances over at myself, their esteemed commander with looks of wonder, and some with looks of fear, at the amount of anger and sudden outbursts that had most likely escaped through the door. I don't care, they can think of me what they want I have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.

"I swear I heard her tell him tha..." I catch a conversation from somewhere to my right and abruptly turn to see who the voice belongs to. My gaze narrows as my eyes land on a young cadet, perhaps of about 15, as he begins to absent mindedly gather his bag onto his shoulder, so I swiftly grab the young mans coat and pull him away from his friend as anger begins to fill every inch of my body.

"If I ever hear that rumour from anyone ANYWHERE around here, I will expel you.. Do I make myself clear?!" I all but growl as the boy begins to shake with fear in my grasp an I allow a few seconds to tick by, and the only sound that fills the short silence is the ragged breath of the young man in my clutch.

"I said, do I make myself clear cadet?" I refuse to let any more time pass and so I tighten my grip on his arm, my voice is no louder than a whisper, and my body begins to shake as my anger grows.

The cadet pulls himself together enough so he can salute me and mutters "Y-y-yes S-s-sir!"

The fear in the young cadets eyes is evident and for a moment, I feel like a monster. So with a sigh I allow my fierce expression to soften a bit. With a slight shove I release the young mans arm and nod my head in the direction of the door where his equally as frightened friend waits, his face just as pale and fightened as the cadet who stands in front of me. The poor frightened boy takes off at such speed he nearly knocks his friend onto this backside, and I watch with irritation as the two young men peel off down the hallway, but I quickly remember why I'm here in the infirmary and so I abruptly turn my attention back to the exasperated Doctor, just in time to see her shake her head.

She turns on her heel and begins to walk away from me, but I'm not finnished with this conversation and so I begin to follow her. She startles me by turning her attention back on me with a rather fast turn. Her eyes bore into mine and I suddenly feel like a child whose done something wrong.  
"We'll do all we can to make sure the past doesn't repeat itself Squall. She needs you, so go and find her, be with her. If anyone can stop this from happening, it's you commander" and with that said she quietly steps into her office and allows the door to softly shut behind her. Said door clicks shut, and suddenly I'm left to stare at plain white, as frustration begins to take over.

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**A/N - Let me know what you think!! More reviews would be great!! )  
Thanks to those who have reviewed at least this chapter!!  
****Keep reading cause I promise the next chapters are WAAAAAAY better than this one.. I won't lie.. its not the best chapter. **


	2. Saved by the buzzing contraption

**Disclaimer - Once again... I don't own any of the characters... Square Enix does.. Lucky beeps**

His feelings begin to run rampant as shock and denial release themselves to course through his entire being. Squall slowly gathers his composure and walks out of the infirmary, glad to be on his way out of what he considers the first level of hell. If it really was hell it sure was clean what with the burning stench of cleanliness, the stark white walls and freshly washed floors.

As he makes his way from the clean air of the infirmary, into the slightly stale air of the hallway, he stops and looks at the folder he has clutched in one had. Fighting the urge to throw the revolting papers into the garbage, he begins his slow walk towards the dorm hall. People pass by him, and most ignore him or they pretend their late for something because the look - he assumes - his stance portrays is not one of happiness. When the commander has a look about him that is anything but happy, people usually get yelled at or hurt, the latter just depends on the persons name.

The only person to ever have gotten hurt, or that the commander has ever fought with in such a state, has to be Seifer Almsay, Squall's one and only rival. Due to Rinoa's wishes, Squall had set up a meeting with Cid in the hopes of reinstating Seifer as the head of the Disciplinary committee. Much to Squalls dismay and Rinoas excitement, Cid had agreed under two conditions - that Seifer stay out of trouble and that the young rebellion attend each and every one of his classes without giving anyone grief. The commander had expected the young rebel to laugh in his face, to be to proud to return to the place that had once shunned him, but he had surprised Squall and agreed, albeit rather smugly (most likely due to the fact that it had been Rinoa's idea, and how Rinoa had wanted him at Garden). Squall had kicked him out of his office before he had the chance to take back his help and kick him on his sorry butt again. As he let his mind drift back to the present time, Squall is rather shocked to notice how he has made it to his dorm without actually telling his feet, or his body where he was going.

_"The sub conscious is an odd thing" _he chuckles to himself, the sound of masked hysteria shocks him, and his mind begins to wonder why exactly he feels so... defeated. The memories of only moments before inch ever so slyly back into the forefront of his mind.

He sneaks a glance at his watch and sighs "13:00 hours. That gives me... two and half hours to read this Hyne-awful thing" Squall quickly pulls his key card out, swipes it through his doors k.c reader and steps inside.

_"I'm tired... Hyne I'm just so tired, when will things just be.. normal?" _he whispers to the dark empty room. He slides his hand along the wall till it hits a switch, and the room is suddenly bright with light. He allows a short time for his eyes to focus before he scans the area, and notes how messy he has let his rather small room get.

"One really does not have time for cleaning when the world needs saving do they?" he mumbles while he shrugs out of his jacket and discards both it and the folder onto the black leather love seat.

The said love seat is haphazardly placed between the far wall and his bed making somewhat of a defining motion to show the living room and the so called bedroom. To call it a bedroom was a bit of a joke, but it does hold a lot of the essential bedroomie things like, of course, his double bed which is covered in the standard white sheets and down comforter with two fluffy pillows as only disturbance, and one lone white nightstand with the essentials - 24 hour clock, sleeping pills, glass of half empty water, and a picture of Squall and Rinoa on her birthday.

He takes a seat on his bed as he gently picks the picture up to look at it, he chuckles lightly to himself as he remembers the night. It had been Rinoas 18th birthday and Selphie had made her wear a ridiculous hat that allowed everyone to know she was the birthday girl. As to be expected after a bit to much sugar, the girls had decided it would look much, MUCH, better on someone else. Who did that someone else happen to be? Why Squall of course. You can only refuse 2 girls chalked full of sugar for so long before somebody gets hurt, so to save the night of any casualties Squall had agreed, as long as no one took any pictures. They had agreed, naturally but to his dismay and protests as soon as they had it on his head Rinoa had quickly jumped on his lap and locked his hands to his sides taking the time to kiss his cheek, just as something bright went off. The look on his face in the picture was one of, dread, anger, and happiness all in one. He had been mad, but it had still made him smile to see her so happy.

A sad sigh escapes past Squalls lips and he places the picture back on the stand. In an attempt to buy himself more time, he opens the top drawer of the stand and is really not surprised by what he finds there. He stares down at the usual things - the latest issue of Weapons Monthly, a few pens, a pad of paper, and some pictures that Selphie had taken the night they defeated the Sorceress.

With another sigh Squall closes the drawer and starts towards the bathroom, and in the few short steps it takes to cross the room he begins to make mental notes of what needs to be done, and how long the tasks should take for him to accomplish.

_"Wash my sheets and my clothes - roughly 2 hours give or take I suppose, clean the bathroom..." _He pushes the door open with his foot, and once **again** sighs as he runs his hand through his soft brown hair.

_"4 hours or more... oh wow... How did I let it get THIS bad?" _He allows himself to finally stop and take a good look at everything.

The shower was in some sort of disrepair, he forgot that the tap had a crack in it, and all he can hear now is the drip... drip... drip of the water that begins to make its escape. His gaze falls to the floor and he notices some dirty laundry and a few wet towels. He dosn't even bother to glance at the toilet as he curses himself for his procrastination. His gaze passes over the rest of the bathroom and he slowly turns to the right, his attention is now on the man in the oval mirror above his supposed to be white pedestal sink. Looking over his features as one does he begins to note some changes, like the length of his hair. It seems the overly worked young man has forgotten that hair does grow and that one needs to cut it every once and awhile. As it used to be slightly short and wavy, it has become long enough that he needs to tuck it behind his ear every time he bends over. Another thing he notes is the dark shade forming underneath each stormy grey eye due to lack of rest.

"Maybe Rin's right. I should take a vacation or something" he sighs as he remembers why he feels the way he does at this moment.

Squall shakes his head and begins back to the love seat where the little blue folder sits and he eyes it with unease. "How can one little folder be so... unnerving?" he mumbles to himself as he slowly reaches out and grips the flimsy folder in one hand. The look on his face is one of such disgust, you would think it was a bug or something equally as disgusting. The young man seats himself on the very edge of the love seat, and flips the folder open to the first page.

As his eyes scan over the first page, he finds some small relief in the fact that it only contains her biography. As he flips to the next page though, that relief quickly vanishes as he reads the first line.

**"The contents of these pages are for the Headmaster and the Commander alone. Albeit if they wish to share the contents that is out of my hands and I have no power to decide against it. I will warn though, if these pages get into the wrong hands, destruction and separation for the party(s) involved will happen" **

The writing is in the Doctors own hand, but it's not as neat as the rest, as if it was a final thought before her meeting with Squall that morning. His brows furrow together and he feels his chest tighten as he continues reading. He hates what he's reading. No, it's more than that, he hates the way it's so neat, that Dr.Kadowaki had taken her time to make this monstrous information as neat and perfect as she possibly could, and he hates how he can't even stop the process as it begins to happen. Hyne, it's happening this very instant, without Rinoa's knowledge, the sorceress cells are taking over every inch of her body. Every inch of her mind. Every inch of her beautiful soul.

Time seems to fly by. Finally, Squall throws the little blue folder on the love seat beside him. Whatever hope he may have had at the beginning has been crushed and mauled. He had even taken the entire time he had to read the monstrous thing four times, with the hopes that, somewhere at some point the words would change, or someone would pop out and yell "SURPRISE! JUST KIDDING!" and start to laugh hysterically as relief washed over his tired body.

_"I would be mad.. hell I'd be livid but at least it would mean she was okay, and that... that stupid hag wasn't...ISN'T my beautiful angel. My Rinoa."_Alas, that isn't going to happen, so he has to deal with it.

He can't help the feelings that rage throughout his body. It's as if they're all racing for a finish line somewhere within him, and helplessness is in the lead, with rage on its tail, and confusion close behind. He can just imagine little jockeys atop their faithful chocobos, clawing at him until he breaks down.

_"I'll have to sit Rinoa down and tell her... It's the only way." _he shakes his head, the sadness seeming to overtake him as he gently leans into his hands, letting his palms rest on his forehead as the walls begin to close in on him from every angle making him feel like a trapped, scared, little boy with no way out.

_"Why would I let myself get so close to someone? I remember now why I'd had those walls up... It wasn't just to protect myself... It was to protect others..."_

_Click_

The door softly locks into place, but the young man doesn't move from his spot. The only way anyone can possibly tell that he isn't a statue frozen in time, is the steady movement of his shoulders and chest signifying each and every breath he takes. He isn't overly surprised at who enters his room without permission. Albeit it still shocks him to hear her voice, which pulls him out of his messed up little race that he is taking place amidst his mind.

"Squall?" an angel speaks. "Squall whats wrong?"

The young commander shakes his head and grabs hold of his emotions, with the hopes the race will stop, and mumbles "Nothing".

He should have known that it wouldn't stop, it will never stop, and he sighs as the the race continues, although there's a new jockey now, and its reason.

_"Maybe I **can **stop this..." _his commander side begins to take over. He pulls himself off of the love seat and turns to face _her_. His angel.

There she stands before him in black skinny jeans, ballet flats, and a light blue tank top. Her raven hair cascading in soft waves around her beautiful oval face, her big chocolate brown eyes, look at him with confusion and wonder as she drops her bag to the floor and makes her way around the love seat to place her soft hands on his face forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"Squall? Whats wrong? It feels like... the walls are closing in...?" fear begins to form on her soft features as she gently traces her thumbs across his cheeks.

It is one of her new powers, she is able to sense what ever a person is feeling at any given time, as long as she is in the room with them. He was scaringher with these feelings and he knew it, he could see it in her eyes, in her face. And it hurt him so bad. He brings his eyes up to meet hers, and he can feel a lump begin to form in his throat. He coughs a bit to clear it and sighs, without a word Squall gently places his hands around her waist, and with what little strength he can muster he pulls her into him and leans down. His lips gently caressing hers. He pulls away, and forces a smile as the worry in her face seems to melt a little, she allows herself to smile up at him, and with that whatever worry he had been feeling a few moments ago is gone and he leans in once more to kiss her forehead.

"It's something, that... Dr.Kadowaki brought to my attention. It's really nothing to worry about right now." he can feel her body tense even more as his eyes cloud over with the memories or his confrontation earlier that day with the elderly woman.

"Squall... Your lying to me. I'm not stupid." anger begins to dance across her features, as she steps away from Squalls embrace and seats herself on the love seat, arms crossed, eyes still locked on his.

Squall sighs and crosses his arms, after a few moments he lowers his head and his eyebrows furrow together deep in concentration. His mind was at war with itself.

_"I can't do this..." _one side states the jockeys pain and fear begin to form again.

_"Yes you can! You have to!! Where is the lion people once saw in you! You are no coward Leonhart!_" the commander side counters with such force he almost believes it and for just a moment the jockey he knows as reason is in the lead. He clenches his fists together and sighs as his arms drop to his sides. A few more moments pass and he lifts his head to gaze into her angry brown eyes.

Before he can speak though, his cell phone begins to buzz. He can feel the relief about to take hold and to hide it, he replaces it with a scowl and grabs the phone from his pocket.

Relief really begins to take hold as he flips the buzzing contraption open while he turns his back to Rinoain hopes to hide the satisfaction on his face.

"Hello?" He can hear her rise from her seat.

He sighs as he watches her shadow along the wall. "I'm a bit busy right now sir..." Silence.

He can hear her attempt to slow and even out her breaths from behind him, she's closer now.

"Okay, yes I suppose it can wait." he feels her arms gently sliding around his waist, out of habit he covers her hand with his, as they rest on his stomach.

"Now? Alright. I will see you then Sir." Relief has really taken hold of his body as he shuts his phone.

Gently he pulls away from Rinoa, and turns to face her as he places his hands on her shoulders to look into her fiery brown eyes.

"Squall..." she begins but she stops as she looks into his troubled eyes, he has no idea what she sees in them but it is enough to keep her from what ever she is about to say.

After a moment he allows his hands to slide down her arms to rest in her own, much smaller hands.

"Cid?" she questions, as she cocks her head a bit to the right side and she visibly forces a smile at the somewhat fake scowl that begins to form on Squalls face.

Silently he nods and leans in to kiss her, its a passionate kiss, one where all of his emotions seems to pulse through with every breath. Much to both of their dismay he pulls himself away and notices the dim blush that begins to form on her soft pale skin.

"I have to go. When I get back, if it's not to late, we'll grab a bite to eat" Squall smiles as she finally lets go of his hands. Before she has a chance to say anything else he quickly makes his way to the door and out into the hallway, allowing the door to softly click shut behind him.


	3. And then he breaks

**Disclaimer - You know the drill. I don't own Square Enix or any of its characters.. as much as I would LOVE to. **

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Squall begins to breathe a little easier with each step he takes away from his dorm room where Rinoa waits for him to return. Yet, it seems the farther he gets from the dorm room, the more his pace quickens, the longer his steps become, and suddenly his running full tilt down the dorm hallway, near the end of the hall he jumps to clear the three steps leading down and out into the main foyer.

He doesn't pause, not even when Zell calls after him "Hey Commander! No runnin' in the halls!!" the only response Squall shows is the simple gesture of showing the martial artist the middle finger of his left hand as he speeds by the stunned blond.

The commander can't help but roll his eyes when the sound of Zells boisterous laughter reaches him as he rounds the corner and bolts up the stairs, taking them two at a time, towards the elevator. He never pauses not once, that is until he reaches the top where he finally stops and doubles over, out of breath, knees bent as he rests his hands on them fervently trying to catch his breath.

_"What are you doing Leonhart? You KNOW thats against the rules" _he clamps his eyes shut, willing the commander side of his brain to shut up. Down the stairs he hears a few whispers and some chuckles as students begin to take notice of the out of breath commander, who's doubled over at the elevator doors. As he takes one final deep breath, Squall corrects his posture while smoothing the front of his white t-shirt out in an attempt to collect himself. As he takes notice of the students who have taken their time to gather around the bottom of the stairs, he gives them his most stern commander look

"Back to class cadets, SeeDs!" he barks.

Everyone begins to shuffle and disperse back to whatever they were doing before the odd interruption of the panting, running commander.

"Well now, it seems to me like you can't give Zell any grief for running in the halls Commander Leonhart." it is a soft voice, yet somehow stern at the same moment.

He doesn't need to turn or glance to know exactly who is implying that he is a hypocrite, and at the moment he just wishes she would go away or that Seifer would do something foolish to keep her preoccupied from attempting to help him out with the mess he calls his life.

"Quistis. Don't you have a class to attend to?" Squall merely glances at the gorgeous blond from the corner of his eye.

He really can't help but notice her today, there was something different about her. Squall quickly goes through a small checklist he has no idea he had compiled in his mind. She is in the standard Instructor uniform, navy blue skirt with a matching military jacket, she has her black calf high boots on. There is just something different and then it finally dawns on him. It seems stern Quistis Trepe has decided to let her hair down. Literally. She quickly reaches her hand up to brush a lock of her long blond hair behind her ear, before she places the same hand on three big text books she has held in front of her so as to adjust them .

"Well yes, I do, that would be where I'm going at the moment" He can see she's eyeing him with suspicion as she waves her free hand towards the elevator door as if to indicate exactly that.

__

Ding

The elevator glides silently to the ground floor, and the doors open to show itself empty. Squall stands aside and motions for Quistis to continue before he steps in to take a stand beside her in the rather small space.

"Squall... Is something the matter?" She waits for the doors to close, and allows her self to become his equal, she leans back just enough so shes resting against the far left wall and her eyes begin to scan his face, as if she is going to find some sort of clue to help her figure this odd enigma of a man out.

He keeps his body straight towards the door, and doesn't even look in the Instructors direction. "Nothing is the matter Miss.Trepe." After a few moments of silence, he begins to regret his tone and his choice of words.

_"Yeah like that's not going to give anything away... Good one smart guy!"_he rolls his eyes, and sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. "I've just got alot on my mind right now. To top it all off, Cid wants to see me" He allows himself to glance at her from the corner of his eye. She begins to nod as the elevator comes to a soft stop on the second floor.

"Well... If you need to talk Squall, were all here for you." She looks him in the eye and smiles before she walks out of the elevator towards her classroom.

"Thanks Quisty." He forces a smile as he watches her walk away, the doors softly close before she even reaches her classroom.

With some effort he pushes himself away from the mahogany wall and rests his finger on the number three button. As he takes a deep breath he pushes down and the button lights up. In the small space he waits as the seconds tick by, and listens to the light hum of the elevator as it gently shudders to life. _"Alone... All alone, in such a small space"_ he muses to himself. _"Kind of like a metaphor for my life... Oh Hyne, have I stooped so low as to become one of those... Emotional kids? the ones who whine and complain about how their life sucks.. when in reality... it doesn't?" _he gently lays his head back against the wall, his eyes start to scan the tiny compartment.

Above he notices the trap door that Quistis, Zell and he had to climb out of to get to the electrical room of the Garden. With a small smile he lifts his head and his eyes rest on the key pad, where the number three is still lit up. There aren't many other numbers, just the numbers two and one, and then there's a lock for the basement. Cid had implemented that right after NORG had attempted to take over Garden, because he had thought Cid wasn't strong enough, and that he was foolish in his attempts to overthrow the sorceress. The sorceress. The root of all evil that has happened throughout the years. His hands clench involuntarily into fists, as images begin to flood his mind. Rinoa unconscious as he piggybacks her towards Esthar. That was when the powers had first taken their hold on the small fragile girl. He shakes his head as if to clear the horrible memory and he just feels like crying, that's all. Nothing else. _"Weak" _his mind mutters to him. With a soft hum the elevator stops and the three on the wall goes dark again, to await another person to press it back to life. He steps forward and takes another deep breath with the hopes his nerves will calm down, and the doors glide apart to reveal the third floor. As he steps ahead he can hear Cid's muffled voice, along with Dr.Kadowaki's. His anger begins to flood up again, as it surges and pounds deep from his core until he wills himself to be calm. His fists unclench only with a sudden thought _"There's no use in anger right now, it will only upset everyone, it will only upset Rinoa." _and with that thought in mind, Squall takes the five steps he needs to in order to reach the small lift that will take him towards the muffled conversation.

The sound of the small lift drowns out what little of the conversation he can here, not that Squall really tries to pay attention, what with his thoughts back in his room with the angry Rinoa.

With a soft clunk, the lift slows to a stop and the scene before Squall is a little unnerving. When he was down below a few seconds ago, he had been able to pick out Headmaster Cid and Dr.Kadowakis voices, so clearly, he thought they were the only two on the bridge. He is not ready or willing even, to see the small oddly dressed man who keeps his attention out the window at the small town of Balamb below them. "What is going on here. Why is he here!" Squalls voice comes out with a little more anger and power than the means, but he doesn't care. Not when...that man, is here with them. A soft chuckle escapes from the small man at the window

"It iz good to zee you again commander." He turns to face them.

Squalls eyes narrow and he scoffs at the friendliness in the old mans tone. "I would say like wise, Odine, but the last time I saw you, you attempted to turn Rinoa into a sort of guinea pig." His hands clench involuntarily at the memory of Rinoa being trapped in that contraption. She'd looked so helpless and so... childlike, it had hurt him more than he likes to admit.

"Well, yez I zuppoze that iz zo. I only meant to help the young Sorcer... Pardoné mua. Mizz.Heartilly harnezz her powerz. You mizunderztood my intentionz young Loire" Odine no more than nods his head and raises his hands in a motion to show his sincerity, but what catches Squall is his choice of a last name.

He masks the shock on his face and in his tone with an even stronger tone that is filled with annoyance and anger. "It's Leonhart, I have never gone by the name Loire, nor will I ever go by that name." His eyes narrow even further and they never stray from Odine not even when Cid begins to speak.

"Ah... Squall, I called you hear to discuss the recent situation." the older man jumps a little as Squalls gaze sharply lands on him. Its as if he has been hit by an invisible thunder spell, but he quickly continues "Odine believes he can help us harness her powers, she won't have to spend to long away from you or from Garden, and it will be nothing like before, she will be free to come and go as she wishes." His eyes hold some sort of hope and Squall can't believe that Cid is even brave enough to mention this route to him.

"No." is his only response. His attention turns to the third person in the group, and he brings his left hand up to rub at his temple, his eyes close for a brief second before he continues. "Dr.Kadowaki, I read, and re-read the report and I see that it is possible, and there is a potential of this happening, but... I still stand by what I said this morning. I want those tests re-done." This is more of an order from the commander than it is a plea from a scared young man.

The Doctor brings her gaze up to meet Squalls and she sighs as she gives him a slight nod. "Alright Squall, but under one condition." she eyes him carefully and waits for his response.

The commander thinks this over for a brief second and slowly nods his head "Alright. What is it" it comes out as more of a demand than a question.

"You must tell her whats going on. She has a right to know, and you know that." Neither hers nor his expressions change, he expects this and doesn't hesitate or stop to think it over.

"I will. She does have a right to know what's happening to her." His gaze hardens and he turns back to the small hunched over man, Odines over sized hat hides his face and most of his upper body as the Commander towers over him.

"Odine" the small man lifts his head a fraction, but its still not enough for Squall to see his face.

"Stay away from Rinoa. This is an order, I don't want you anywhere near her when I'm not there." He turns and gives the man no time to answer before he steps back onto the lift.

"Zat iz fair, zat iz fair." is the last thing he hears as the lift gives another soft clunk as it reaches the ground below.

His anger floods back to him as he begins to feel as if he has been betrayed. The room around him begins to blur together as fury takes over his thoughts and every emotion he has within him is shut off. Its as if everything in the room is a freshly painted picture that someone has thrown paint thinner over, which allows the colors to run and combine into each other to make a distorted, unintelligible mess. He makes it into the elevator, and as the doors close he leans against the far wall.

"This can't be happening. Its all to real, its happening to fast. Not my Rinoa. Not Rinny, not MY Rinoa. Shes... Shes all I have." His voice breaks on the last four words and he just can't help it, tears begin to flow down his cheeks and sobs begin to rack his body.

The great stone lion begins to crack and tumble, his hard visage turns into nothing but a pile of rubble as he turns his back to the wall and allows his body to slide down towards the floor and for a few minutes he allows the tears to escape. This never would have happened if Rinoa hadn't pushed her way into his life, if only she had kept her distance like everyone else, he wouldn't have to worry about her becoming the one Sorceress they would have to take down again. It makes sense now, at the look Ultamica had given him and his friends the night they managed to destroy her. It seemed to be look of pure evil, but at one point something seemed to click as Squall had thrown himself in front of Rinoa, blocking a spell with a reflect spell he had put on himself. Ultemicas eyes had softened a bit, and it seemed almost like she had a look of love for Squall, and pain for what she had to do to him and all of his friends. All of Rinoa's friends. He chokes back another sob, and with one last swipe of his hand across his pained stormy eyes, Squall gathers all of his composure and lifts himself from the carpeted maroon floor. A few deep breaths later he reaches his hand out and gently pushes the number one, his eyes never leave the lit up button. Not until he reaches the ground floor. With a soft ding the doors slide open to reveal an empty front hall.

He glances towards the front gate, and notices that the last rays of sunshine had left over an hour ago. With a glance back to his watch he sighs "7:25, I hope Rin didn't wait for me" he begins his walk back to his dorm room.

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**A/N Hope you like it! I decided to make chapter 3 a little longer, so I just took out chapter 4 and combined them. let me know what you think! )**


	4. Unexpected Darkness

**Disclaimer - I don't own Final Fantasy or its characters. Let me know what you think of the edition! **

"Rinoa. Quit making that face, it'll get stuck that way you know." Squall crosses his arms and gives the un-happy raven haired girl a small smile, the pout on her face disappears a bit but before he can see her smile she turns her body away from him to face the only window in his room.

"I don't care. What was so important that you had to miss another date with me?!" she crosses her arms and turns her head to give him her best angry face over her shoulder.

He can't help but notice the way her long raven hair descends down her back in soft waves. He was surprised when she had told him that she didn't plan on shortening the length sometime ago. She had meant it to as it reaches about half way now. When he had returned to his dorm room she had already changed into a pair of pink cotton pajama pants, and a white thin strap top that stops just above her waist, so when she makes any movements it shows of a small portion of her soft white tummy and back. She humphs and brings him back to their argument, which has been going on now for about an hour.

"I already told you." he begins to lose his patience as his foot starts to tap against the carpeted floor.

As much as he loves her the childish attitude gets to him sometimes and he it makes him wonder what exactly he's gotten himself into. With a sigh he calms himself down and continues through with the same explanation he's already given a half a dozen times within the last hour

"The meeting with Cid ran a little longer than I expected." He sees her as she clutches her crossed arms closer to herself and decides its best to try and physically comfort her, so he swiftly leaves his place from in front of the dorm door and moves around the love seat so he stands directly behind her. He manages to quietly wrap his arms around her waist while he rests his chin on her shoulder. She jumps a little at first but within a few seconds he can feel her body relax a little at his touch, and yet she still turns her head away from his so she can pretend to ignore him.

"I'll make it up to you angel, and I won't cancel next time." his makes his tone as persuasive as he can and then gently kisses her neck with the hopes that she'll calm down.

This seems to do the trick, because Rinoa finally turns to face him and she brings her hands up to rest on his chest, and she grabs a light hold of his white t-shirt at her sudden change of mind he straightens his posture with a cautious look. The last time her mood had changed so fast, Squall had ended up in the infirmary while Dr.Kadowaki placed stitches in his forehead. He had made Rinoa so mad that she had picked up a glass from his night stand and thrown it with all her might, she had claimed that she meant to hit the wall and that her aim was anything but perfect. Now he had to agree with the second part, but about the wall? He didn't buy it then and doesn't buy it now. She seems to notice the caution that is strewn across his face and a small giggle escapes her perfect pink mouth, she sighs and smiles up at him, he can tell it's slightly forced but he takes it anyways.

"Promise?" she whispers, her head tilts so she can see into his eyes and he takes this slight movement and uses it to his advantage as he leans forward and presses his lips onto hers.

"I promise." he pulls away enough so he can reply and then kisses her even deeper.

She kisses back with as much passion as he, and then places her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her while he begins to gently rub her back. One hand makes its way under her shirt and rests on the small of her bare back, with a slight pressure he pushes her body closer to his. His eyes close so he can enjoy the only alone moment he has with the one woman he will ever love, so he doesn't notice when the lights suddenly go out. Rinoa seems to take notice as she gently pulls away from him, she catches her breath and takes a look around the room, her eyes stop to rest on the light above them. He just can't keep his eyes off of her, even in the dark she's beautiful and he brings one hand up to move a stray lock of hair out of her face. He can hear here as she turns towards him again, and this is when he realizes he can't see her or the rest of the room.

"What happened to the lights?" she questions as if he knows the answer, his brows furrow together and he glances towards the door to see if the hall lights are still on.

No such luck though as he notices no thin stream of light where it should be under his door. "Hm.. That's odd. The back up generators should have kicked in by now..." he mumbles more to himself then to Rinoa, and as much as he doesn't want to he leaves her side to check the hallway. If he didn't know his room as well as he did, the love seat would have posed a bit of a problem in the pitch black but it doesn't as he swiftly by-passes it and reaches out to open the door. He stops though, when he hears an "Oomph" come from behind him.

"Yeesh.. Ouch that hurt." It's Rinoa's voice and it sounds as if she's took a seat on the floor.

"Rin? Are you okay? What happened?" though he can't see her, he makes his way back across the room to where her voice seems to come from.

"Oh I'm fine, I just ran into your stupid love seat." she sighs and Squall can feel her small hands on his leg, so he reaches out and grasps both hands in his to lift her off the floor.

He can hear some a gentle rustle as he reaches out to take her hand in his, with her other hand though she reaches up to stroke Squalls cheek. "Thank you" he can hear the smile in her voice and he begins to lead the way back to the door.

"Hey what are knights for?" he says in a serious tone and he can hear her giggle close to his side. This time he is able to open his door and sighs at the site on the other side. "Great, its just as dark out here as it is in the dorm. Perfect." He brings his other hand up to rest on his temple as he tries to think of a solution.

Suddenly there's a dim light from behind him and he whips his head around to see where it could possibly come from. His eyes rest on a small light that begins to float in Rinoa's hands, and from the look on her face he can tell that she's rather impressed with herself. His eye brows raise a little and then her gaze meets his and she smiles at him like a child whose just accomplished a rather interesting task.

"Cool" he can here the comment as it drifts across the hall and his stormy grey gaze turns to meet the deep blue gaze of the tall man across from him.

A smile spreads across the mans soft strong features and he takes the brown cowboy hat off of his head as he bows deeply with his other arm placed across his stomach. "Good to see ya Squall. Rinoa, that's quite some little ball o' light ya got there." He straightens up and re-places the hat on his head.

Squall takes notice that the mans Galbadian accent is still as thick as it was the first day they had met over a year ago. A scowl crosses Squalls features and the tall cowboy chuckles. "Irvine, just go back to your room, I'll figure this out and the lights will be on in no time." at this he notices Irvine's eye brows raise and another chuckle escapes from him as his smile widens.

"Still haven' changed have ya Squall." he shakes his head which causes his ponytail to sway against his bare back.

With a slight glare Squall notices that the sharpshooter only has on a pair of jeans which in the small amount of light, look to be a light denim wash, and his trademark cowboy hat.

"If you insist on coming along, put on a shirt would you? I don't need any squealing girls following us." he crosses his arms as he leans back against his door frame to wait for Irvine, and with a boastful laugh the tall sharpshooter turns to enter his room to return in only a few seconds with a green and white long sleeve button up shirt.

"Will this do _sir_?" he crosses his arms over his chest and Squall can hear Rinoa giggle from behind him, and then another giggle seems to emanate from directly behind Irvine.

The sharpshooters shoulders slump a little as Squall sighs. "Irvine you know the rules about girls and dorms." Irvine's eyes flicker to Rinoa then back to Squall and the commander blushes and hastily continues on before the other man can comment "Selphie I suppose you want to join us as well?" the small brunette peeks around Irvine's left side and he can see the large grin on her face, and her eyes sparkle as she notices where the dim light has come from.

"I wouldn't miss an adventure for the world!! Wow Rinny, that's amazing! How are you doing that?" she doesn't seem to take a breath through the entire sentence.

Rinoa giggles again and Squall brings his attention back to the sorceress behind him to hear her explanation. She just shrugs her shoulders and gazes at the small ball as it dances around her palms almost as if its excited at the attention.

"I'm not to sure. I was just thinking how even a little bit of light would help and I felt a small tingle in my palms, so just to see if I could, I placed my palms together and this happened. Cool huh?" she smiles even wider and Squall places his hand on the small of her back to gently push her into the hall so he can close his door. He hears another click from behind Irvine, and then Selphie re-appears at his side. As Irvine places his arms around the small girls shoulders, Squall can see the comfort they both have with each other. With another small sigh Squall begins his way down the darkened hallway and it seems that the rest of garden is asleep as no one opens their own dorm doors to see where the light has gone. The commanders grateful for that because he doesn't think he can take anymore people with the thought that this is an 'adventure' as Selphie had put it.

"So any ideas as to whats happened to the lights Mr.Leader?" Selphie skips up beside him then slows to a walk as she matches his pace.

He looks over to his left and down a bit at her small wide eyed face and shakes his head, a small frown pulls at the corners of his mouth at her up-beatness. It's not like he hates Selphie, on the contrary, she's like a little sister to him and it would devastate him if she were to pass away, whether it be unexpected or otherwise. It's just that she's always so up-beat and happy. Sure sometimes it's cute, but other times he just wants to shove whatever he has available into her mouth just for some peace and quiet. He sighs and brings his attention to where they are at the moment, and recognizes the directory a few steps away. Without a word he makes his way up the stairs located to their left and up to the elevator. He presses the up button on the small panel to the right of the doors and waits until he hears a light hum as the elevator kicks to life. As he turns to face the others he notices all of their eyes are on him and his eyes pass over each of their faces. Irvine's expression is one of wonder. Then to Selphie's whose face holds a look of expectancy, and finally to Rinoa's, whose expression is one of worry still with a hint of wonder at her little ball of light.

"What?" he begins to feel a little un-comfortable at the sudden attention, and clears his throat as no one answers him.

He hears the soft ding as the elevator reaches the ground floor and before he can turn around he notices the sudden change on Rinoa's face. The first look is one of horror which changes to anger just as fast and he can see that her gaze is located behind him. He curses himself as he places his hand where his gun blade should be. _"Why didn't I think to bring my damn weapon?". _Slowly he turns around ready to fight a monster or some maniac that's broken into Garden and is a little shocked and overly relieved that is neither. With a light raspy chuckle a small man exits the elevator which leaves the small compartment dark and empty.

"Faceenating... Very faceenating. How, may I ask dear child, are you doing zat?" Odine brings his head up a little to look at Rinoa, and the small ball of light that still dances around in her hands.

The ball only gives off enough light to cover a small radius of about 4 feet, and Odine is still stationed roughly 6 feet from her. Still to close for Squall to like and so he quickly steps between the two, to block Rinoa's site of the maniac of an old man and the mans site from his prey. The small mans hands raise up in peace and he steps back a couple of steps to stand in front of the elevator door again.

"Now now commander. I mean ze girl no 'arm. I am merely interezted." Squall takes another step towards him and Odine quickly shuffles around the small group to stand on the first step down.

"I vill be on my vay. Ze Doctor wished to see me." he turns and continues slowly down the stairs, on the last step he turns to face Squall and co, again.

"Ah right, have you told ze young lady yet?" If looks could kill, Odine would be a dead man over and over for the look Squall shoots him is anything but friendly.

The old man laughs loudly now "Aha I guess not zen hey? I shall juzt be on my vay" and with that he makes his way around the corner until the group can no longer see or hear him.

Squall doesn't dare look at Rinoa or any of their friends, so he chooses to stay where he is, with his gaze on the cold marble floor. "Squall?" Selphie reaches her hand out and rests it on his arm, he can see her in his peripheral and she looks just as confused as the rest of them must look.

"Squall man, what was Odine talkin about?" Irvine speaks up from somewhere behind him, but he doesn't move from wherever he is.

"Squall Leonhart. WHY is Odine here... Squall I swear to HYNE..." he can hear the quiver in Rinoa's voice, she doesn't finish her threat "What is going on?!" she whispers and the small ball of light goes out to leave the four teenagers in pitch black, and Squall is grateful because he doesn't think he can take the look on Rinoa's face at the moment.

With a sigh he turns towards them and begins his walk back towards the elevator, his shoulder comes in contact with a soft pillar which moves out of his way and then he can hear as the rest follow him into the small space. He's not sure who presses the button but suddenly the number 3 is lit up on the small panel on the wall. The elevator hums to life and begins its soft ascend to the floors above them. Besides the hum and the steady breaths of the compartments occupants, all is quiet. Squalls slightly surprised that Selphie doesn't have any up-beat remark, or at the very least a bombard of questions about what Odine had said. "He was talking about Rinoa right?" he can hear a slight tremble in her usually perky tone. No one speaks and Squall continues to stare at the panel with the lit up three his mind on the other hand tumbles over lies and in the end stops on the real explanation. He begins to mull over how he will tell Rinoa what she's will one day become, and a few seconds go by.

He eventually chooses to shut his mind off and in the dark his ears pick up on what the others begin to do. Irvine, he can hear, clears his throat, Selphie begins to shuffle her feet to tap the toes of her boots on the carpeted floor, and he can hear the frightened and angry breaths as they leave Rinoa's body. Squall doesn't move an inch and then suddenly he feels a small hand close around his, he doesn't need to see to know who the hand belongs to and so he gently squeezes it and pulls her closer to his side. It feels as if someone has their eyes glued to him and he can't take it anymore, but before he has a chance to growl out a 'What' a soft ding fills the room and the elevator doors glide softly open to reveal a candle lit level three.

"Finally some light! Man that darkness was really beginning to get to me!" Irvine remarks as he takes Selphie's hand in his and pulls her along behind him, he all but jogs to the small lift with Selphie in tow. "Wait Irvie! What about Squall and Rinny?" she calls out, but before she has the chance to stop, the cowboy has her on the lift and with a small clunk the lift disappears above them.


	5. Is this the end?

**Disclaimer - I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or its characters. Square Enix does. **

**A/N this chapter is done in Rinoas p.o.v. I wanted to do something a little different.**

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It feels as if the world around me stops its rotation as Selphie and Irvine disappear along with the small lift. With my eyes glued to the floor in front of me my heart begins to beat faster and I know partially why Odine is here, but I still don't understand what Squall has to tell me so I wait for his explanation. Silently, with my hand still in his, he pulls me out of the elevator and stops just in front of the lift, I let my confusion take hold and I sigh.

"Their not going to send it back down until we talk." I pull my hand away from his and cross my arms across my chest.

This is ridiculous. I didn't spend all that time and hard work to pull Squall out of his shell this last year just to have it un-done in a few short hours. His style hasn't changed of course, not in the least bit, he still wears the same style black jeans, his black military boots and a white t-shirt but at the moment it's to hot for his usual black leather jacket with the white fur collar. He stops a couple of steps from the where the lift is and then runs his hand through his soft wavy brown hair and I can hear him take a deep breath, but he still doesn't turn to face me. Confusion leaves my mind immediately as irritation begins to take hold and I clench my fists while I pull my arms closer to my body. My nails dig into my palms and it starts to ache but I ignore it and concentrate on the man in front of me, my eyes bore into the back of his head. He sighs again and turns to face me though his eyes won't look at my face, he keeps them on the ground as if to search for a way out. I move a step forward and keep my arms crossed.

"What's going..." Squall brings his gaze up to meet mine and I can't finish the sentence. Not with the look that haunts his face.

It scares me so much to see this look, Hyne, I've never seen him in so much pain before, my irritation disappears all together and fear for why he seems so pained along with anger towards whatever hurts my knight so deeply take its place. In three small steps I take myself to stand in front of him, I un-cross my arms and place my hands on either side of his face my eyes locked on his stormy grey gaze, the pain just seems to get worse. He closes his eyes as our skin touches and he puts his hands around my waist to pull me closer to him, without a sound he lays his head on my shoulder, his forehead nestles into the crook of my neck. Gently, I place my arms around his body and wait. Neither of us say a thing and it seems as if were the only ones left in Garden, with the eerie glow of the candles as they flicker with a none existent wind and cast shadows that seem to dance around the room. It's quiet up stairs, and I realize that no one has made a sound since our two friends disappeared a few moments ago. I begin to search with my powers but it seems alright, there's no disturbance up above that will cause Squall or myself any alarm. I feel more of an expectancy from someone above but I'm not sure who it is, my powers haven't developed that far yet. Finally the broken man in my arms pulls himself away from me and backs up a step to gaze into my eyes. This look frightens me more than the previous one of pain. It's as if he's just shut off all of his emotions, and I take a step back as my eyes widen in a look of half shock and half surprise. He begins to speak and I quickly regain my composure.

"Rinoa." his tone is like a robot, almost how he sounds when he speaks to his cadets or addresses someone of a political stature.

The only difference is the sadness that somehow manages to creep through. I wait for him to continue as he takes a moment to gather his thoughts. The shadows dance seems to increase.

"It seems that we do have to worry about what Dr.Kadowaki had previously brought to my attention." he lets the sentence sink for a few seconds, to let me remember our previous conversation before he was rudely pulled away to speak to Cid.

He finally continues. "They have reason to believe that... the reason your powers are growing at such an alarming rate is because, well, Hyne Rin, Your becoming... Ultemecia."

My gaze drops to the floor and I try so hard to take in what he says to me. Yes it seems plausible, it really would make sense what with my the alarming speed my powers have been growing at. Now I understand why he looked so hurt a few minutes ago. He knows what he has to do, it's what SeeD is made for, and if he has to do this why shouldn't he cut off his emotions, it will just make it that much easier for him to accomplish it.

"No" I know this is not a thing that anyone can change but I still will not accept it.

"No. You're wrong, Dr.Kadowaki's wrong. I am NOT that... that... horrible wretched woman! You don't believe it do you?" my voice begins to crack and a lump forms in my throat which makes the last few words hard to say.

His commander composure breaks and suddenly he's in front of me his arms swiftly around my shoulders as he pulls me into his chest. Tears begin to make their way down my cheeks, and I thank Hyne that I took my make-up off before Squall had made it back to the dorm room. I can hear his heart beat and I try to concentrate on its slow and steady rhythm as well as the way he runs his hand along my hair in an attempt to comfort me. It starts to work until I can feel his body begin to shake as a small sob escapes him.

"Dammit, Leonhart! Don't you cry to. We've been through worse. We can" a sob escapes from me and it cuts off my sentence. "We can get through this!" I clutch his shirt and step even closer to him while I hide my face in his chest.

"Rin. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Another sob shakes his body and rests his face against the side of my head.

After a few minutes of silence he finally catches his breath and re-gains his lost composure, as the the sobs die down and our breaths begin to come out normal again. A soft hum begins behind Squall, I can feel as he turns his head to see who's on the small lift.

"You can come up now!" a soft voice drifts down from above.

"Selphie." I mumble into his chest and a small hysterical chuckle follows.

He sighs and gently pushes me away, but doesn't leave my side as he places one arm over my shoulders and the other hand crosses his stomach to take hold of my right arm. Slowly we take the three short steps and stop on the lift. Not once does he make any move to wipe the tears from his eyes or the streaks from his face. It seems he won't look at me either, and I hope it's for fear that he will start to cry again, but some small part of me begins to think it's because he can't see me as the same Rinny Heartilly that he fell in love with a year ago. A year ago. That's when we defeated Ultemecia. My head starts to spin as I try to piece my thoughts together. Stupid time compression, it just screws everything up. I don't notice that the lift stops, but suddenly there are two petite arms around me and they've pulled me into a bear hug.

"OH Rinny! We won't let this happen, we'll do whatever we can to stop it! I promise okay!! WE promise... Right guys?" Selphie sobs into my ear and only steps away as she points reference to the group behind her. Squall's arms have left my side but he still leaves one hand on my lower back, it's his small way to say he'll never leave me.

"Right" a chorus of voices agree with Selphie, and this is when I take a look around the room.

Everyone is here. Quistis and Seifer's hands are entwined, they stand just a few feet from us, in front of the controls. To the left of them Zell punches the air as he agrees and then drops down to a crouch on the floor where he sighs and drops his gaze to a book in front of him. Irvine stands the closest next to Selphie, and he gently places his hand on the small girls shoulder to pull her back towards him. She does so, and then rests her head against his side as he places his right arm around her in comfort. Cid and Matron step quietly forward from the shadows and Matron continues towards me her arms out stretched and I leave Squalls side to envelope the lovely woman in an embrace. She hugs me close and whispers in my ear, only loud enough for myself and Cid to hear. I don't quite understand it so I step away and give her a look that shows this. She smiles her gentle smile and takes my hands in her own delicate ones.

"Give it time my dear. You will understand" with this she turns and steps onto the lift, with one hand she rests her palm against Squalls cheek and whispers to him as well. I can't quite make it out but the look on Squalls face is one of pain, and he closes his eyes. She removes her hand from his cheek and disappears as the lift descends.


	6. It begins

**Disclaimer - Yup Yup you know the drill. Once again Rinoa's p.o.v**

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**Thwack**

We all jump as some small object hits the far wall and lands just a few feet from Squalls stoic body.

"This is... Just... ARGH!" Zell slams his fist against the floor where the book had been moments before, and this sudden outburst causes the entire bridge to vibrate. I bring my attention back from Zell's angry tirade and make my way to stand by Squall where he stands rigid as he looks at the book in his hand.

"What..." I try to speak but he cuts me off, even in the dimly lit room I can see the anger flood his features and this causes me to stop only a mere step or two from him.

"It's a book on Sorceress' and their history... Zell what could you possibly think to find in this?" he holds the book in question towards the martial artist and then tosses it into the middle of room where it slides to a stop, the pages flutter open to a random section.

I bring my gaze back to see a look of startle appear on the blonde's face then quickly back to stare into Squalls eyes. They look so cold... so... I can't even finish the sentence, it just scares me so much to see this look in his eyes.

"Squall!" I gasp as I lay my right hand on his arm, my head tilts a little to the side in confusion at his rather rude demeanor towards one of his closest friends.

His jaw visibly tenses and he takes my hand gently in his (I mean as gentle as he can while he's in this mood), but instead of pulling me close he lets it drop as if I were some child he can just brush off.

Words seem to escape me at the moment and I just let my hand drop along with my gaze. Without another look at his face I turn and walk over to Zell where I drop to the floor, wrap my arms around my knees and place my head in my lap. Someone places there arm over my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. I assume its Zell as the touch comes from my left side.

"Way to go man." I'm right, Zells voice angrily chides Squall from directly beside me, his hand begins to rub my shoulder as he whispers words meant to comfort me.

"Its okay Rin. _Were _here for you." He puts such emphasis on _Were_, and I know its meant to not include Squall. As I realize this I bring my legs closer to my body, it's like Zell's just taken a knife and stabbed it right into my heart, but I don't cry. I refuse to let the tears that threaten to spill win this battle. Not one drop will make its way down my cheek for fear that they will never stop. I'm scared, Hyne I'm petrified, but the funny thing is that it's not what's going to happen to me that scares me so much, it's losing the one thing, the one person, that means the entire world to me that causes my heart to nearly stop. My life will mean nothing if Squall isn't by my side to protect me, to help me, to _love_ me.

"Squall. He didn't mean it..." a smaller, quieter voice comes from somewhere to my left, past Zell but still close.

"Tch, The hell I didn't." I can feel Zell begin to shake, his anger rolls off of him in waves and suddenly the arm that had been around my shoulders in comfort moments ago is gone and Zells warm body is no longer by my side.

This sudden action causes me a bit of surprise and I slowly bring my head up just in time to see Squall's hand rest on where his gun-blade should be, stormy eyes on fire with such anger and pain. The anger in the room begins to build as Zell continues his tirade.

"I meant every word. The rest of us are here for her Squall, but you just brush her off as if shes some un-wanted, annoying child." So they did notice, I don't bring my eyes away from Squalls face to check if the others agree with the furious man beside me "Well she's not dammit! She loves you, and I don't think you understand that! Hell I don't even understand it. The way you treat her, always brushing her off. She deserves so much better than you!!" The pain increases on Squalls features and I can hear a small gasp come from Quistis and a shocked "Oh man" escape from Seifer. I can see Selphie in front of Irvine, her small arms on his shoulders in an attempt to hold him back.

"That's low man. Zell that's complete bull shit and you know it. You know as well as I do how he feels about her! So back off, or I swear to HYNE..." Irvine stops his struggle against Selphie, but that's as much as I pay attention to, for Squalls brought his gaze around to meet mine and all we do is stare. That's when the tears begin again, just as Zells about to continue, with a step forward from him and step froward from Irvine "EXCUSE ME?! You wanna take this outside cowboy? Cause..." I can't take it any more, I just want this to stop so despite the tears that rush down my cheeks and the pained look from Squall I jump up.

"ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!" I all but scream this and tears begin to fade as anger takes hold of me. Everyone stops and all eyes turn in my direction and I notice Zell hop a few steps away from me in surprise. An odd sensation takes over and its as if my hands are on fire, suddenly everything around me tilts and begins to fade out of focus.

_That's right... Let the anger flood through you. Let the darkness envelope you, this will be your knew home soon enough. Get used to this princess._

Everything finally goes black.

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**A/N - OoOoO! What's gonna happen next?! Well that's a good question... hmm.. anyways! Let me worry about that, and you can just R n R.  
Random tid-bit... The entire chapter was written while I listened to The Beatles. Such an angry chapter for such non-angry music )**


	7. Duality

**Disclaimer - once AGAIN.. you know the drill. sheesh. This is a bit of Rinoa's p.o.v and a bit of Squalls p.o.v**

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"Squall. He didnt mean it..." Quistis tries to defuse the situation, but its no use.

It stung when what he had said was not meant to include me. Even Seifer nods his head in agreement with the blond Instructor on his arm, a look of pure anger clouds his features as he brings his narrowed gaze to rest on the face of the tattooed blond on the floor. Then Zell's on his feet and in battle stance faster than you can say Greiver, so in retaliation I bring my hand to rest where my gun-blade is supposed to be and realize that I'm weaponless.

"I meant every word. The rest of us are here for her Squall, but you just brush her off as if shes some un-wanted, annoying child." I've never seen such fury in his eyes, his face reddens with every word. "Well she's not dammit! She loves you, and I don't think you understand that! Hell I don't even understand it. The way you treat her, always brushing her off. She deserves so much better than you!!"

The pain has to be evident on my features, because all I can hear is a small gasp from Quistis as she brings her hand up to cover her mouth, her eyes widen along with Seifer's and a shocked "Oh man" escapes from him. I don't know what Selphie and Irivne are doing but somewhere to my left I can hear a small struggle as if one pushes against the other to hold them back.

"That's low man. Zell that's complete bull shit and you know it. You know as well as I do how he feels about her! So back off, or I swear to HYNE..." I would have thought it to be Selphie who'd want to rip Zell apart but it's Irvine's angry voice that speaks.

I notice that someones eyes have stopped on me and I drop my hurt gaze to Rinoa's pale features on the floor.

Zell takes a furious step forward towards the tall sharpshooter across from him and Irvine seems to counter, I can see all of this in my peripheral as my eyes are locked on Rinoa's face, I study her features and try to see if that's really how she feels, and then my eyes meet her gaze. She looks so frightened and upset, tears begging to fall and streak her beautiful face, her wavy raven hair cascades down her her back and over her shoulders to frame her heart-shape face. Zells voice raises a few notches

"EXCUSE ME?! You wanna take this outside cowboy? Cause..." A look of pure surprise floods Rinoa's features, and I can see the glisten of tears on her cheeks in the dim candle light Suddenly it's like my bodies frozen, as if Rinoa's gaze holds me to my spot. It's as if she acts for both of us and suddenly Rin's up on her feet with a look in her eyes that is possibly the most frightening thing I've ever seen.

"ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!" she yells, its not quite a scream but it's still enough to catch everyones attention, and its what snaps me out of my shock. Her gaze lands on Zell and the startled martial artist hops away in pure fear as everyone else, myself included, take a few steps back in shock, in awe, but mostly in fear and surprise.

This is a site that I want to forget, but one that will most likely haunt me for the rest of my days, no matter how few or how many I have left.

Before my eyes, before the others frightened gazes, its as if she transforms it's not a big transformation but it's enough to cause me to realize my biggest fear. If I lose Rinoa, then I have nothing to live for. Sure I have SeeD, but that's not enough, SeeD uses your abilities to take others down, it allows and almost needs you to harbor hate or to turn your emotions off. Rinoa on the other hand, has tried to break that of me, she wants me to be the loving, caring person she tells me I am. My eyes wander over her body and its her hands that catch my attention first. Her soft, delicate hands send off waves of heat but never once do they catch fire, her eyes turn a solid black and then melt into a soft almost topaz color only to flutter shut and re-open to reveal her warm chocolate brown blank stare, her body begins to sway to and fro and suddenly her legs give and her body sprawls on the floor. I'm by her side before anyone can move or take a breath and I'm almost to afraid to touch her for fear that she may break or... or something worse. I can hear someone mumble behind me and than a soft click as if a phone has been closed, and Cid's the first one by my side on his knees his hand on my shoulder.

"Dr.Kadowaki's on her way. I won't tell Odine a thing until you want me to." I take some solace in these words but still I shrug the old mans hand off of my shoulder, with a sigh I slowly stand and its as if my bodies been weighed down by buckets upon buckets of sludge. Minutes pass but It seems like hours before I turn to face the group behind me.

"Go back to your dorms." I can't bring my gaze to meet any of the ones around me, and I can hear Selphie stutter out a small sob.

"Squall man. I'm... I'm so sorr..." Zell tries to apologize, but I have no use for it right now. His words still hang heavy in the air and I can't help but blame him for what's happened to Rinoa. If he hadn't threatened Irvine than she would never have gotten that upset. My head jerks in his direction, my eyes narrow greatly and through clenched teeth I repeat my order.

"Get back to your dorms." no one moves so I sigh angrily "NOW" I bark the last part out to show my authority, and it seems to make everyone jump. Selphie nearly runs for the small lift with Irvine, Seifer and Quistis close behind. Zells the last to leave as his gaze never leaves mine, and I can see the fear in them and how he believes its all his fault. He will receive no sympathy from myself and I refuse to forgive him until Rinoa is up and well again.

"What is it _Dincht_" his last name stings my tongue, as if its an acid that I must get out for fear it will burn my mouth.

His eyes flutter and I can see his jaw clench, with a shake of his head and a small sigh he breaks our stare down and takes his place in front of the frightened group who wait to get the hell out of here. Finally the lift kicks to life and the small group disappears down below.

* * *

It's a really weird feeling. I can hear everything that goes on around me, and I can feel whenever someone touches me, but I can't move, speak, see, hell I cant even twitch.

The scene that unfolds around me breaks my heart, someone sobs and inside I cry with them.

I'm completely terrified now, the voice that spoke to me when I first fainted, hasn't said anything else.

"Hello? Who's there? Whats happening?" I wait. No response. "ANSWER ME!" my thoughts cry out only to be met by silence. Frustration builds at not being able to let my friends know I'm alright.

At not being able to touch Squalls face and to kiss his soft lips, or to hold him in my arms and to let him know that Zell's wrong, that he doesn't treat me that way. All the sounds fade out again, and its dark. I can't focus my eyes. All I want is to see something.. to see anything!

Suddenly a face appears before me, and I can feel a softness beneath my body a little like that of a bed.

"Rinoa? Rinoa, are you okay?" the face above me speaks and it sounds tired and worried, but I still can't focus its all so blurry and... and bright.

"Hmm, Rinoa I'm going to try something to get your eyes to focus okay?" the person above me reaches into a pocket I can't see and pulls out what looks like a pen. I can hear a short click and a small light brightens the tip of the pen.

"I need you do something for me, I'm going to need you to follow the light okay? Can you do this for me?" My body feels like it's been coated in a thick tar like substance but I nod my head a slight bit, "Good. It should help bring your eyes into focus."

I do as the nice voice tells me and finally after about a minute I can see everything so much clearer, as if a frosted pane has been removed from my sight. I blink my eyes a few times until I can look around without squinting, and I realize now who it had been standing over me. Dr.Kadowaki, and it makes sense now about the soft bed like feeling I feel beneath me. It seems that someone has carried me to the infirmary and lain me on the bed in the first room. I know it's the first room because just past the curtains sits the Doctors desk and all of her medical contraptions.

"My dear, you gave us all quite a fright. How are you feeling?" I ignore her question as I take a glance around the room. He's not here.

"Squall? Where is he?" my voice sounds raspy, like I've been asleep for a long while. I bring my gaze back up to meet Dr.Kadowaki's soft stare, and she just smiles a small sad smile. I can't even begin to tell you how much that scares me, my heart begins to race frantically as my mind begins to run over ever option. Of course it lands on the most frightening conclusion. He's left. That's the only possible reason he's not here with me now, he doesn't love me anymore because he knows he can't, he knows it not right just like I know this. With a small sigh I let my eyes close and I turn my face so the older woman can't see the tears as they begin to fall.

"He'll come back my dear, he just called away on some business." I know its childish, but I bring my left hand up and wave her away, I just don't want to hear it, in my mind right now it's just an excuse not to be with me.

How can he do this? I can hear her sigh and take a few steps before they stop and a metal on metal sound takes its place as she pulls the curtains shut, a few more footsteps and then I can hear her pull out her desk chair and a few seconds pass before I can hear the click of keys on a key board. Slowly I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is my reflection in the wall size window. I look horrible, my face is all tear streaked and my hairs a mess, the clothes I have on are crumpled, the shirts twisted which causes me a bit of discomfort but I make no move to fix it. With a pang I think of his face, I think of the last look that had crossed his features, and with this though there seems to be a new feeling, almost like someone takes a sharp object to my chest and it creates a small hole. With every thought of him the hole gets bigger. I can't take it anymore, so I close my eyes and try to block out the sound of the keyboard and the bright light that emanates from the window above the small bed. I allow my thoughts to wander and meander through past memories as I try to make sense of this messed up situation, but all I can think of is Squall. The hole gets significantly bigger. Finally I succumb to the darkness and am swept away into a nightmarish scene. It's as if my body suspends over a scene that is all to familiar to my senses. The room I am over is grand, with pillars all around and a large pedestal like seat where a wretched woman sits her long red gown flows past her feet and my gaze keeps going where it rests on the occupants with whom she speaks. There's no sound, just sight but it's enough, I don't need to hear what she has to say I already know.

_Their wrong._

I gasp, and begin to look around in the hopes that someone is here with me, just so I can put a face to the voice. To my dismay, I'm still alone not up here near the ceiling.

I hesitate a few seconds. "Whose wrong?" This makes no sense.

_Your friends. Their wrong._

The voice is getting weaker, as if whoever speaks is moving away from where I'm suspended.

This is so unbelievably frustrating! I realize that I can move my arms and legs so with a harrumph I cross my arms across my chest. The slight movement rustles the fabric of my clothing and I notice that whatever I have on is heavier than that of my tank top and jeans. So I chance a glance down and my brows furrow together in confusion. I'm in my old light blue duster along with the black tank, jean skirt and black shorts underneath. My feet on the other hand are bare which causes my furrowed brow to raise instead in wonder. The fight has begun beneath me and Ultimecia has already disposed of Irvine and Quistis. She brings Selphie and myself into the scene, and leaves Zell wherever she has left the grandiose room.

"Wait! What are they wrong about?!" I yell out in hopes the voice is still present.

Silence is my only answer, and then suddenly I'm pulled back into darkness where not even my thoughts can speak.

**A/N Review and let me know what you think of this chapter, it was a little harder to write ( BUT it's done so enjoy!!**


	8. Emotionless

**Disclaimer - I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters. Square Enix does. **

* * *

This is the last place I want to be at this moment in time. I should be back at Balamb with Rinoa but Cid insisted I get out for a while to clear my head. The catch had been that while I was on a short leave I had to attend a small conference, so with this said he had placed a thin folder in my hands which contained the contents of my "mission". I say "mission" because its not quite a mission per-say, just that he needed me to attend a small conference in Fisherman's Horizon, not that the mayor would really want Garden involved anyways. At least that's what I had thought when I read where this was to take place but, as it turns out, the mayor had asked specifically for myself so Cid had taken it upon himself to agree on my behalf. I owe the headmaster alot but sometimes I think he takes it for granted. Angrily I had agreed and without another word had turned on my heel and stormed out of his make shift office. A few hours later I find myself here in the small room of the newly built F.H town hall. Its pretty bland with the light blue walls and light wood floor. All the chairs face towards the stage which is located to the left of the double front doors and directly across from the doors there's a massive wall to ceiling window that shows the ocean, and I have to admit it is a beautiful view. Bringing my stare back into the room, I glance to my right and wonder how I can make it to the doors without anyone noticing but decide against my escape plan and bring my gaze back up to the old man on stage. With a small grunt I cross my arms and lean back into the orange plastic chair. Someone beside me coughs and from the corner of my eye I can see a small pebble size ball of paper fly through the air. A few seconds later a small "Hey" can be heard from a couple rows up, I don't bother to see who the paper has come in contact with but it sounds like a woman. The young man beside me chuckles and I give him a "be quiet or else" look and he immediately stops his laughter and brings his own gaze back to the front of the room. I only allow my eyes to slide over the clock above the doors once and with a sigh I return my attention again to the peace loving man on stage.

The conference has been going on for a couple of hours now, and all the old man has said so far is that "Peace is what we should all be reaching for, and these wretched war loving Gardens are standing in Gaia's journey to peace and prosperity".

There had been a few people who scoffed at this, myself included, but the old man had continued his Garden bashing, he only stopped once to use a young cadet as an example as the young man had been due to his anger and inability to keep his mouth shut. I thank Hyne he isn't a Balamb student because that would mean so much groveling and I just don't have it in me to grovel. Not today. Not ever. Why does this man want me here? It's not like we got along when we had met during the Sorceress War.

My question seems to be answered as the conference ends and as the 30 or so people stand to leave I hear a "Commander Squall Leonhart can you please make your way to the front"

With a sigh and a grunt I bring myself to stand and with some swift steps begin to slide my way between people until I finally reach the front. The peace loving man waves me over to where he and another man stand. With a roll of my eyes I realize who the other man is and make my way over, I take the old mans outstretched hand in my own and shake once. My gaze lands on the other mans brown stare and a wide smile stretches across his ageing features.

"Squall my boy! How are you doing?" I can see his right leg lift slightly off the ground as he reaches his own hand out to take mine. Reluctantly I take it in my own and with a nod and one strong shake I return his greeting, as much as I'd rather not.

"Laguna. Good and you?" out of habit my arms cross across my chest and I rest the majority of my weight on my left leg. It's not very professional but at the moment I don't care. Seems to be my regular emotion as of late, not caring that is. It's better to not care, that way you wont get to hurt in the end. Laguna brings his hand back and places it in the pocket of his jeans.

"Ah well I've been pretty good! Been busy what with being a president and all. Hows Rinoa, I heard Odine was called to Balamb a couple of days ago and..." I wipe all emotion from my face and before he can continue on I raise my hand in silence.

"She's.. Fine. I cannot discuss his presence with you or anyone outside of Garden. I'm sorry for my lack of professionalism Sir." My emotions seize up at the sound of Rinoa's name and all my years of SeeD training kick in. My posture straightens and any emotions that may have lingered on my face a moment ago are wiped away making my features as hard as stone.

Shock passes over the presidents features and suddenly all of his weight is on is left leg as he raises his right foot completely off the floor.

"If this is all you need, than I'll be leaving, I have other business to attend to." Laguna's gaze doesn't drop from my face and I can tell that he's trying to figure out what I refuse to show but his tone is still as cheery as it was a few seconds ago.

"No no, business comes first in the worlds of politics and SeeD. It really is good to see you Squall... Take care of yourself will you?" The love and concern in his tone and gaze takes me off guard a little but I refuse to let it show, so with a nod and salute I turn on my heel and quickly make my way out into the F.H sunshine.

I will not let myself relax and without a thought I let my feet quickly take me back to where Garden is stationed just on the waters outside of the small town. I finally bring my gaze up as the door behind me closes to separate Fisherman's Horizon and myself from each-other. I stop as I notice Quistis, her arms crossed across her chest and a small smile graces her soft features.

"Quistis." I nod my head and begin to walk towards her and my only escape route

"Squall. Beautiful day out there today isn't it?" she falls in step beside me as I make my way towards the elevator.

"Perhaps." she clears her throat and brings her gaze up to look at me, I stare straight ahead but I don't need to look at her to feel or see the pity and pain on her features.

"Well, perhaps Rinoa would like to take a walk around F.H..." the last part comes out as a mere whisper as we pass a group of first years.

"Get to class or get to your dorms! There's no wandering while were docked!" I bark and they all jump but scurry back behind us towards the class rooms.

I continue to stare ahead and my heart feels like it's about to burst, it only seems to feel this way when someone mentions... her name. I mentally curse the wretched muscle and sigh inwardly. After a few moments of silence I sigh simply for the act and bring my gaze to meet Quistis' blue one.

"Perhaps. I'll talk to Dr.Kadowaki and see what she says." This seems to satisfy her and as I reach out to press the down button, the blond instructor tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear and grin escapes across her mouth and eyes.

"Good. Let me know what she says will you? Maybe Seifer and I will join you... If that's okay with you?" she tilts her head a little and an odd school girlish hope seems to flit across her features.

With a small sigh I shake my head and she seems to take it the wrong way because suddenly her smile disappears and she replaces it with a look of stone. I know her way to well and I can still see hurt mirrored in her eyes.

"That sounds like... Well it sounds alright. I'll let you know as soon as I find out myself Quistis."

The smile reappears on her features and she turns to make her way back towards her classroom.

"Talk to you then Squall!..." she waves her hand over her shoulder and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"...Whatever" I mutter and she voices the same word over her shoulder, which she follows with a wink.

I roll my eyes, and turn as the elevator door opens to reveal an empty compartment, this is the second time I thank Hyne today because I just can't be around anyone right now. I need to think without interruptions. Without a even a glance I press the button with the number 1 and it lights up just as I rest my back against the far wall to face the elevator doors. The doors slide shut and with a small hum the elevator kicks to life.

* * *

**A/N - The next chapter will be better I promise!! Let me know what you guys and girls think of this one!! **


	9. Her World Begins To Crumble

**Disclaimer - Yadda Yadda Yadda I don't own FFVIII or its characters. **

* * *

A few days have passed and Dr.Kadowaki is actually thinking of letting me leave the small irritating little room. I haven't seen Squall but Quistis had come to check on me a few hours after Dr.Kadowaki had told me he was off on some mission, the young instructor had filled me in on everything but I could tell she had been hiding something when I'd asked how he was doing. It crossed my mind that she didn't even know which made me think for a small second that the old Squall was beginning to peek through again. With a shake of my head I dismissed the rather horrifying thought and we continued on some lighter conversation. She filled me in on what everyone had been doing and how Zell still felt like what had happened was his fault. With a small sigh I shake my head. I will definitely have to have a talk with that boy, it wasn't his fault as much as it may seem to everyone else. I lost control and that's all that happened it was no bodies fault but my own, I should have had better control over my powers but I suppose it could have happened to any one who was and is a sorceress.That's the one thought that keeps me from going completely insane.

I can hear footsteps approach the closed curtain, they don't sound like the Doctors, but then again I could be wrong so instead of calling out and asking who's there I just continue to read the book on Sorceress' and their History : The good and evil of years passed. Its quite the boring book, but it's something to keep my mind from thinking about what happened, and from thinking about him.

I can hear the curtains as whoever my visitor is pulls them back but I still don't bother to look up, a small pang of hope enters my heart when I hear a small sigh.

"Hey" that voice. His voice brings me out of a paragraph about Adel and my gaze locks onto a pair of stormy gray eyes. I blink a few times to make sure my eyes aren't playing tricks on me and he chuckles a little before he makes his way to sit on the edge of my bed.

"Um, Hey." Is really all I can muster at this point. My brain still hasn't registered that Squall has taken a seat right beside me and that I should be relieved that he hasn't left me... yet.

He places his left hand on the side of my face and leans in to give me a deep kiss, there's so much passion in it that his action takes me off guard. Oh Hyne how I've missed that, and my brain finally kicks into gear but yet I still don't feel relieved. He reluctantly pulls back and brushes a lock of hair behind my ear.

"How are you feeling? Any better?" this is really awkward, and I can't figure out why so my eyebrows furrow together but I manage to nod my head in response.

"You got a haircut. It looks good" shock makes its way across his features but he quickly smiles and runs his right hand through his shorter hair.

"Yeah, after I dropped off my report Selphie pulled me into her dorm room. She did a pretty good job" I can tell that he has something on his mind and his attempt to cover it up is actually pretty good, still he can't fool me and he knows it.

"Squall, I'm fine... So whats wrong?" my voice comes out as no more than a whisper and I can see his jaw tense.

"Did you want to get some fresh air? Were still docked at F.H. Kadowaki said its okay." He completely ignores my question as he brings his eyes to stare past me and out the window into the bright sunshine. This is so frustrating! I drop my gaze and begin to fiddle with my fingers and the bed sheet, after a few minutes of silence I can't stand it anymore

"You don't love me anymore do you?" the words hurt so much to think let alone say and my voice cracks as I continue

"As soon as you found out that I might be Ultamecia you just got distant. you don't look at me the same Squall! You act like you did when we first met and..." the tears that I didn't want to shed begin to make their way down my cheeks, I force my gaze up to see what his expression is and he's still looking out the window, the only difference is the pain that he attempts to hide.

"and it scares me Squall. I love you and I don't want to lose you!" His eyes drop to look at my face and I can see the same pain and fear in his own features.

"Rin.. I..." he clears his throat and takes both my hands in his to give them a small squeeze.

"I love you, and I always will. It's just... I need some time to think and... maybe us being together right now... isn't a good thing. Maybe it's just pushing us apart" his own gaze drops to my hands and a small sob escapes as his words fill my mind, soul and heart. I drop my gaze to our hands as well and let the words run through my mind one more time.

"Are you... Are you breaking up with me?" my heart beats up and suddenly its like my entire world is crumbling and falling apart, this can't be happening he can't be serious, this has to be a joke a very cruel and painful joke.

He sighs and mumbles "I guess I am"

My head snaps up, but his gaze stays on our entwined hands and his face is emotionless now like his features are made of stone.

Fire begins to fill my veins and the tears stop just as quickly as they had started, I can't hold the anger out of my voice but I keep it low enough for only him to hear.

"Get out." he brings his gaze up to mine and I was right, it is the same old Squall I met when I was 17, the same Squall that created a wall to keep everyone out because he felt a person could only count on themselves.

Something flashes behind in his eyes but I don't know what emotion it is, and at the moment I don't care, the bastard just broke up with me because of something my dream friend has told me is wrong.

"Very well." Its a few seconds before he leans forward to kiss my forehead, I don't pull back but I rip my hands away from his and cross my arms over my chest.

With a sigh he stands and makes his way out, he stops once to pull the curtains closed behind him and his foot steps seem to pick up the closer he gets to the door. With an angry cry I throw my legs over the side of the bed, as soon as my feet hit the floor I push myself up and make my way over to where Selphie had earlier placed a clean change of clothes. As quick as I can I switch my tank top and skinny jeans for a pair of beige capris and a plain grey long sleeve shirt, there's no need to bother with my reflection, I'll just be covered in fiend good anyways so I replace my shoes and make my over to the curtain, without a pause I slide it back just enough so I can get through and without a word to Kadowaki make my way out of the infirmary and into the main hall of Garden. I stop once when I see Selphie and duck back into the infirmary hallway in the hopes that the young spunky girl won't see me. Thank Hyne she doesn't see me and as soon as she walks into the cafeteria I re-appear into the main hall. I duck my head and quickly make my way towards the training center. I need to release some of this anger and that is the perfect place to do so. I just hope that they placed loads of T-Rexaurs in there, I'm in fight mode and I sorta feel sorry for whatever I have the pleasure of taking my anger out on. Without even a look around I push the doors to training room open and stop out of habit to check what I have junctioned. With a giggle and a roll of my eyes I realize how I don't need that, hell I'm a freaking Sorceress! I come fully equipped without even having to try. Without another thought I make my way towards the left hand door and push through it, as I take my first few steps in I can hear the small hiss as the doors hydraulics kick in as it closes.

****

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWR

The roar takes me off guard but I manage to jump out of the way of the massive meaty tail that sails down in an attempt to crush me. Not so gracefully I end up on my back hidden behind a tree stump, which I assume is the reason why I'm in this position in the first place. I don't need to move to destroy the stupid beast but instead of playing it the boring way I decide to make myself known again. They say T-Rexaurs have a hard time seeing things that keep still, so in the few seconds I'm on my back I decide that in order to burn off my anger I need to keep moving and I need that fiend to keep me on my toes. My mind flashes back to why I came here and my eyes shut.

________

"I love you, and I always will. It's just... I need some time to think and... maybe us being together right now... isn't a good thing. Maybe it's just pushing us apart" his own gaze drops to my hands and a small sob escapes as his words fill my mind, soul and heart. I drop my gaze to our hands as well and let the words run through my mind one more time.

"Are you... Are you breaking up with me?" my heart beats up and suddenly its like my entire world is crumbling and falling apart, this can't be happening he can't be serious, this has to be a joke a very cruel and painful joke.

He sighs and mumbles "I guess I am"

With that thought in mind my blood begins to boil once more, my eyes snap open and I quickly jump to my feet. With a quick scan of the area I note that I'm alone with the giant beast. Perfect. My eyes flutter closed and I picture the scene in my head, as if I'm a spectator. I can see where the T-Rexaur stands, its massive head sways from side to side in an attempt to see me or any other prey that may be present. Its nostrils twitch as it catches my scent. I can see the leaves on the equally as massive trees, the metal fence with its electrified rods meant to keep the fiends in and away from the Balamb Garden population. The ground is murky and muddy in some spots, almost as if we stand in a swamp or a bog. The air feels humid and damp, and it tastes just as such. I bring my out of body gaze back to my own body, which stands still and straight. The power that begins to emanate around my body intensifies and my arms begin to raise ever so slightly only to stop outstretched towards the fiend, palms face up and relaxed. I bring my out of body mind back to the massive creature, who now stands only a few feet away its head reaches down and its nostrils twitch again the closer they get to my hands. I feel a sense of panic come from the door to my right and quickly my out of body gaze turns towards the source. I hadn't noticed before but it seems like a couple of younger students must have noticed what was going on and had retreated to finding someone older and perhaps in charge. Finally one of the younger ones pulls a man out into my view and my anger grows at who it is. Squall looks rather peeved at being disturbed and dragged to the training center, but that look completely drains once he sees the scene before him. In a cold and collected voice he tells the young cadets to return to their dorms and to forget what they've seen. They quickly agree and run out of the training center. The sense of panic still remains but its clouded with fear and a hint of anger.

"Rinoa." The T-Rexaur takes its gaze from my solid form and brings its attention towards Squall, with one swift movement it swipes its tail horizontally towards the man who broke my heart. His SeeD skills kick in and with ease he jumps to avoid it, and lands a mere step from where my out of body self watches. I've had enough and suddenly my solid forms eyes open wide, where they were once brown, a solid black has taken over and my relaxed hands tense as an intense ball of while light overtakes the entire room. A loud thud can be heard and the intense light disappears to reveal the T-Rexaur on the ground. On a longer glance I notice that it's actually dead and then I can feel myself being slammed back into my body where I stagger a couple of steps back towards the trunk of a tree.

"What... Rin, how could you be so stupid?" the harshness of his words snap me out of my reverie of what just happened and my eyes narrow as I bring my gaze to rest on his. It seems he can't control his emotions at the moment and fear and anger have clouded every single one of his features.

"I needed to cool off. I don't need to explain myself to you anymore Squall, you saw to that" I can feel my hands begin to tingle and the room around us begins to darken. Squall seems to notice as he shock flits across his features and he steps back.

"Nothing to say? Fine. I think it's best if I leave Garden. I don't know where I'll go, but I can't stay here." I start to make my way towards the door to leave, but suddenly his hand has enveloped one of my own and he pulls me back into him.

He softly places his hand under my chin to bring my gaze up to his and he seems to search my face for a hidden answer to an equally as hidden question.

"If you think its best." He drops his hands to his sides and takes a step around me to make his own way deeper into the training center.

"Damn you Leonhart." I growl at him. He doesn't stop, I can see his shoulders tense though and that makes me feel a little better.

"Your a coward, pulling into yourself and walking away from the only person whose ever loved you. The only person who will ever love you. Your just a meesley coward, and Zell was right. She deserves better than you and you know it." This stops Squall's exit and I can see his hands clench at his sides. I hope to Hyne that he knows its not me that speaks to him.

It's my own mouth that moves and my own voice that exits, but these are not my words. I try so hard to stop them but I can't. _"Stop! Please! Don't hurt him this way, he's just not sure of what to do! PLEASE!" _My mind begins to scream but the voice doesn't listen and it just continues

"She would have been better off with Seifer. You know it and she knows it. Your just a COWARD!" the last word is yelled. At this he turns on his heel and in a flash he's in front of me his hands hold tight to my arms and I wince at the pain.

"Let her go!" he growls into my ear and I mentally thank Hyne that he knows it's not me but I suddenly wish that he would just let go of my arms. The voice cackles in my head and it's gone just as fast as it had started to speak.

"Squall..." I manage to choke out "Your hurting my arms."

His eyes search my face once more and what he sees must be good enough because his grip loosens, though his hands never drop.

"Your not going anywhere, at least not without me" He drops down a bit so were at eye level and waits for my reply.

Weakly I just nod and take a deep breath, his hands drop down to his side and he reaches out to grasp my hand in his.

"Wow. That was... Intense. What did it say to you?" It's odd but I can't remember a thing of the last few minutes. I just remember pleading with the voice to stop and to not hurt him.

"You mean you don't remember?" his face and stance relaxes a little as he seems to realize something but with a shrug he pulls me towards the exit.

"I'm taking you back to the infirmary, you need to rest."

I interject and stop abruptly, my feet plant firmly to their spot and I pull my hand away from his so I can cross my arms over my chest again. I scowl and him and give a small harrumph.

"I am not, I repeat, not, going back to the infirmary I'm sick and tired of how clean and white the place is. Its like a small peice of hell." the corners of his mouth turn slightly upwards and he coughs as he reaches for my hand again. Reluctantly I take it in my own and he pulls to his side.

"Alright. I'll tell Kadowaki to allow you to stay in my dorm. You can take the bed, I'll take the couch." he sighs at my expression.

"What I said before still stands." I drop my gaze and clench my teeth together.

"Just like what I said about always loving you." this he more than mumbles to himself but I catch it and I can't help but smile, he notices this and a look of realization seems to dawn across his face along with a slight blush, he clears his throat and continues on as if he'd said nothing.

"We'll leave first thing in the morning, I'll inform Cid of my absence and I'll make up some excuse." he sighs again as he grabs the door handle and pulls it open with a bit to much force.

As we make our way towards the infirmary I begin to concoct a plan about later this evening.

Oh I just can't let him sleep on the couch in his own dorm. I snicker as another thought passes through my mind but quickly quiet myself when he gives me a confused look.

This evening should be quite interesting.

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**A/N WOOHOOO! see I told you this one would be better. I figured the next chapter should be a little bit happier, BUT that may change who knows.. hmmmmm )**


	10. Entwined

**Disclaimer - I don't own the characters of Final Fantasy VIII, Square Enix has that joy. **

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A few hours have finally passed and looking back on this whole entire day just gives me one massive headache. I still can't wrap my head around the entire day, how she would go off to the training center alone. Oh but not just alone, oh no, she had to go and use her powers against a T-Rexaur! Although I suppose its my fault for getting her so upset in the first place. I don't know how I even talked myself into breaking if off with her, in my defense I thought it would be better if she had nothing to tie her down here before she went to live with Odine for a while. Hell I thought it would make it easier on myself to break it off, but the pain I saw in her face when I left her in the infirmary and then what the entity had said when I attempted to leave again in the training center was just to much. There's absolutely no way in hell I'm letting her go anywhere without me. With this thought

I sigh as I bring my hands to rest between my head and the pillow behind me, my eyes have yet to adjust to the dark and all I can see is the outline of the television a few feet away. I adjust myself so one leg is hanging off the edge of the small love seat and the other foot is stretched to dangle just over the arm at the other end. From the sounds of the deep breathing Rinoa has finally fallen asleep. My eyes involuntarily roll at her attempt to get me to sleep in the same bed with her earlier. I chuckle to myself as I think back at her threat to snuggle with me on the small love seat but one look at it and she had decided against it. Honestly I have no idea when she gave up, but it had to have been between the point that I'd started to ignore her and an hour ago, you have no idea how thankful I was when I heard her first peaceful sigh and a small good night. Now its just the way I like it, dark and quiet, with nothing but the moonlight to cast a soft glow across the room and the soft sounds of the waves against the side of Garden. For once my mind is finally at peace. There's so much to worry about and so much to plan, but for the moment I'm in a complete state of peace and it's so nice. Slowly, so as to not wake any horrible thoughts, I glance at the clock on my phone. 1:26 am. I place the phone back on floor and replace my hand behind my head. Sleep is a very welcome escape and it envelopes all my senses in a matter of seconds.

_Gray. That's all I can see everywhere I look, and suddenly I'm running. I don't where I'm running to or what I'm running from or if there's really any reason at all for the action. But it's what I'm doing, and suddenly I'm at the edge of a cliff where I slam my heels into the ground as hard as I can before I nearly fly right off into the shining abyss. It feels as if I shouldn't be alone like there should be others with me. Where are they? Am I all alone again? I don't want to be alone. But I want to be left alone. There's a difference between the two but I just can't seem to express it clear enough for the others to understand. Panic takes hold and it feels as if the gray clouds around me are pushing themselves on me. Every things closing in. I can't take it!_

_Where is everyone?! I try to scream but nothing comes out. In an attempt to calm myself, I take another deep breath and scan the area once more. I'm surrounded once again by nothing but gray shining clouds. The small island I'm on is like a big rock that floats in this abyss._

_It hits me. This place is all to familiar, and this is one place that I wished to never see again. Whoever said wishes come true was and is a total liar. I make the action as if to yell out or scream but once again nothing escapes into the silent world and I fall to the ground where I clutch my legs close to my chest. Odd._

_I notice I'm still in my white sweat pants, the same sweats that I wore to bed. I have no shirt on, but that's how I always sleep. Its just a mild oddity in this terrifying nightmare and I brush it off as the panic and fear set in again. My chest tightens and tears run down my cheeks. I hear some sound off in the distance as if someones screaming. I raise my head and stare off into the direction of the sound but all I see are gray clouds and barren cracked land. It seems to get closer and closer and closer, and suddenly..._

**THWUMP**.

I'm on the floor twisted in sheets and there's a dull pain in right elbow. It takes me a second to collect myself and realize that the scream isn't just in my dream. Quickly I pull myself off the floor and in a half sleep half wake stupor make my way over the source.

"Rin... Rinoa!! Wake up! Its just a dream, Rinoa your gonna wake everyone up.. Wake up!!" I manage to make it to the bed and bring myself to lean over her shrieking form. The sound seems to come from her but she makes no movements like a person deep into a nightmare they can't escape. A lone chocobo seems to escape as it begins to run rampant in my chest, but just as suddenly as this happens her big brown eyes open and the sound stops.

"Squall? What ARE you doing?" her tone is a bit irritated but in the slight bit of moonlight I can see amusement flit across her tired features.

"You were screaming." this is weird. Maybe she's just forgotten that she had a nightmare? I hope that's what it is.

Her hand begins to make its way up to my face and confusion replaces the amusement as she attempts to recall her dream.

"I was running... I don't know what I was looking for, but everything was... white? No. It was to gray to be white but to white to be gray. I felt lost, and" she stops as I grab her hand in my own and bring them both down to rest on my knee, her dreams so similar to mine its uncanny.

"You felt lost, and like you were alone." it was supposed to come out as a question but it comes out as more of a statement and I can hear her gasp.

"Oh Squall it was terrible! I felt so lost and alone. I don't want to be alone!" I pull her up from the bed and into my chest where she sobs. There's not much I can do, my mind is on my own dream. The only differences I suppose were the slight difference in color and that she could make noise and I couldn't.

"You won't be alone." I begin to stroke her hair and she doesn't speak,

_"Cause I won't let you be alone." _after a few minutes of us rocking together on the bed, her sobs taper off, and she pulls herself back to look at me.

"Lay with me?" she looks so innocent, like a frightened child it breaks my heart to see her like this.

With a sigh I wipe some stray tears from her eyes and nod my head. With a small smile she moves over a bit to give me some room and I try to make it look like I don't want to be in the same bed with her so I take my time. I stand and stretch my arms but wince when a sharp pain shoots from my elbow to my shoulder. What the hell did I land on anyway? Eh, I'll figure it out in the morning.

With a shake of my head I lay down beside her and she throws the comforter over both our bodies.

Needless to say I can't sleep as my mind begins to wander as every breath she takes gets longer and deeper. I close my eyes in an attempt to lull myself to sleep but its a futile attempt and all I manage to conjure up are memories from the past few years. I owe Rinoa so much but yet I can't seem to bring myself to let her know, I guess old habits are harder to kick than I thought.

**A/N - Chapter 10 is complete! It's not very long only because my attempt at finding a job has gotten in my way of writing. I'll try to make chapter 11 a helluva lot better! ) Enjoy whats up boys and girls!! RnR please!**


	11. Selphies Quirks

The light that filtered through the commanders half opened window had pulled him out of a restless sleep. Though its not unusual for him to be up so early, it is highly unusual for him to be out and about at 0600. Rinoa hadn't slept much after her nightmare last night so instead of waking her he thought it best to let her get as much sleep as possible before anything else happens. He's barely aware that he's entered the training center and he's just as equally unaware that another pair of heavy steps has joined his own. With a frown on his face Squall is completely lost in thought about what to do and whats surely going to happen that the tap on his shoulder from the owner of the other steps causes him to jump and nearly deck the person. Lucky, due to years of being trained, his reflexes are pretty amazing and so he manages to stop the impact mere inches from the mans face.

"Woah, puberty boy, whats up with you?" What would have most likely been a more snyde remark comes out as complete shock from Seifer, his green eyes wide with confusion.

Squalls steel eyes narrow greatly as his jaw tightens at the question, with a shake of his head and a grunt he turns back towards his destination hand on his gunblade. His thoughts once more overtake his senses which causes him to completely ignore whatever it is that his old rival has said.

"Hey" the other mans voice is gruff as he holds back the anger at being ignored. They have finally made it down the short hallway with the metal walls and tiled floor, Squall slammed the double metal doors open and the fresh air from the training center hit him like a tonne of bricks which caused him to finally come back to the present time.

"What do you want Seifer?" he growls as he turns to his left, his feet squish into the slightly mucky ground as he takes an involuntary deep breath the smell of the makeshift forest fills his lungs and it seems to calm him down. Only a little.

The other man grunts at the question as he follows suit, though he has his Hyperion unsheathed where he extends it to just barely graze the back of Squalls infamous black jacket. The commanders eyes narrow once more as he glances over his shoulder, his grip tightens on the hilt of his Lionhart as he turns back towards the door. His other hand finds the second set of doors and as he pushes it open he quickly pulls his gunblade out which is to lead the Seifer into the thought that he wishes to battle though the hand on the door quickly pushes it back so all that can be heard is a loud thud as Seifer comes in contact with it.

"What the HELL!" he yells through the door and as he goes to push it angrily open finds that its stuck.

Squall can only smirk as he casts an extremely strong fire spell to meld the doors shut together, he knows he'll have to pay to have it fixed but at the moment its worth the rare moment of quiet he obtains in the barely lit training center. Nothing has changed at all since he'd actually taken the time to look around, the sounds are still the same, the scents, the trees and moss that cover the ground are in the same place they've always been. This comforts the young man, what with all that is going on now and with what is going to happen. It's all inevitable. A sudden thought causes the commander to sigh in frustration. He really should apologize to Zell for being such a jerk, though with a grunt he realizes that maybe he wasn't entirely wrong for the things he had said. Zell had attacked him and he had defended himself. It was that simple. Or was it? The thoughts are beginning to really hurt his head and in a small attempt at release he raises his hand and begins to massage the bridge of nose with the hopes the pain will soon subside.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that thinking too much is bad for your health?" Selphies chirpy voice broke through his thoughts and he slowly lowered his hand so he could see from where her voice had just come from.

Just up ahead before the small bend that makes its way towards the secret hiding place where young Balamb Garden couples break curfew on a regular basis, he see's the spunky brunette dressed in a white skirt that flows as she walks and a yellow tank top, her brown boots are the only thing that never changes on her small frame. He is taken aback at the sight of her here in the training center this early and is at a loss for words so he merely shrugs at her question and without another word they both begin to make their way towards the other. It takes no longer than a few seconds before Selphie is situated directly in front of Squall, her hands on her hips as she bends slightly to look up into his emotionless face.

"Y'know, I've known you for SO long now that I can tell when somethings up. More up then what happened last night" her tone is full of worry along with her face. Her usually sparkling emerald eyes hold fear and confusion. "Speaking of... I know what Zell said... but you have to know we don't all believe that right?"

This causes the commanders gaze to snap up and it is easy tell that Selphie speaks the truth. Their not all against him. With a deep breath Squall opens his mouth to say something, anything but nothing comes out. He doesn't know what to say. Thanks? For what, for sticking by him even though he's been a jerk? No, so he closes his mouth and frowns. At the moment it doesn't seem like the right thing to say. So instead of meeting her gaze Squall simply looks past her worried face and off into the distance.

"Seems the monsters are still sleeping." he mentally rolls his eyes at his horrid and blatant change of subject.

Luckily for him Selphie takes the hint and a small sad smile graces her cute face. She straightens and steps to stand directly beside Squall, where she links arms with him and gently pulls him forward.

"Yeah, they must be. Lets get some breakfast! Im starved!" her eyes on her face and he can feel them as she tries to burn a hole in his head to see what exactly he must be thinking.

Squall brings his gaze down to look her in the eyes and nods his head in agreement "Food sounds pretty good right now." Not one to wait, Selphie pulls him forward a little harder towards the slight bend. As their feet come in contact with the small bridge a couple of minutes later Seifer makes his way around the other bend towards them.

"Oh? Seifer looks kinda pissed... What happened to his face?" she guffaws as her eyes land on the massive red mark that now dawns the right side of his face. Squall gently bites his cheek in an attempt to stop the smile and laughter that threatens to explode.

"You-" he points his hyperion at directly at Squalls face. "-are so dead" he looks furious and completely serious but it doesn't faze him.

Selphies arm quickly disapears from Squalls as she steps slightly away and around the angry Seifer just as he comes to stand face to face with the commander, which is directly beside the small man made pond. Squall can't keep his eyes from the burning anger in Seifers but the young womans actions do not go unnoticed either. She slowly begins to make her way towards Seifer, just out of his peripheral vision, her small hands clasped behind her back and just as she gets close enough for Seifer to finally glance down at her, she smiles up at him and hip checks him into the muddy water. The splash he makes as he comes in contact with it is a rather large one. The smile on Selphies face as the blond gunblade specialist manages to finally sit up is one of complete triumph, Seifers gaze is pure murder and he glares between the commander and his small comrade as he splutters and spits water out of his mouth. This of course causes Selphie to break out into laughter and once in awhile she actually snorts.

Squall can't help it now, Selphies hysterical laughter catches on and in within seconds he's on the ground where his gloved hands clutch his sides.

"You...look...like a....drown... rat..." he manages to make fun of his rival through his snorts of laughter.

This small revelation causes Selphie to topple over where she ends up on the ground with her hands on her knees as her small body rocks with laughter. Seifer manages to get his footing, before he storms out of the area he gives both of them the finger. After a few more minutes of laughter they manage to catch their breath and Squall finally stands upright n o longer having to gasp for air. He smiles as he helps Selphie up and in a moment of pure enjoyment leans down and gives her a hug.

"Thank you." he whispers into her ear.

Selphie returns the rare hug and as they pull apart he notices the massive smile that has planted itself on her face, though she looks mildly confused about why he said that to her.

"Not a problem...?" her eyes glimmer with happiness and pride at actually getting a hug from the man she considers her brother and in a way her mentor. "Well! Off to the cafeteria, I'm sure Irvines there...." she slightly bites her lip as she re-links her arm with Squalls. He knows why she hesitates to finish her sentence so he sighs.

"And Zell." he finishes for her and whatever happy feelings he just had vanish at the thought of coming face to face with the martial artist. Briefly he wonders what will happen, though his thoughts are once again cut off by Selphies voice.

"Ahh.. If he tries anything I'll kick him in the shins!!!" she kicks the air to show her amazing shin kicking abilities which causes Squall to smile and shake his head.

He really truly appreciates how Selphie feels protective over him, not only him, but all of her friends. Though the group mildly annoyes him at times, he's also extremely grateful to have them there at his side especially at times like these. His heart gives a slight tug as his thoughts take an emotional turn. This causes him to physically roll his eyes as they finally make there way through the first set of double metal doors on the opposite side of the ones he melded shut.

"Uhm... What happened to that door?" Selphies question causes him to shake with laughter which in turn causes the young woman to look at him as if he's completely lost his mind.

**A/N - Sheesh! Sorry it took so long to update this!!!! I'm going to re-write the previous chapters to make it more.. uhm.. understandable and not so everywhere haha. RnR your reviews are like an addiction!!!**


	12. Disappearance

**Chapter 12  
Disappearance**

Just as the small brunette and the commander had entered the cafeteria Zell had gotten up and left his breakfast on the table with Irvine, and Squall knew why. It seems the martial artist was either afraid to confront Squall or was still pissed about their last encounter. Both options tug at Squalls heart strings and he can't help but pull into himself as Selphie and Irvine continue their banter about which is cuter - Moombas or Moogles.

"-nuh uh.. Moogles have nothing on Moombas! Ravi kicks all moogles butts!" Selphie chirps around a mouthful of some sugary cereal. She had taken the seat directly across from Irvine and just as she had in the training center had pulled Squall into the seat beside her which earned them both a questioning look from the gun slinger. Now around 15 minutes later, Squall has finished his bran raisin muffin and black coffee, which has given his already over worked mind another jolt of thoughts.

"-and that concludes my thoughts on tater tots." This pulls Squall from his thoughts and a look of pure confusion takes over his blank stare. With a few blinks and a small frown he brings his gaze up to meet two pairs of highly amused eyes, the corners of Irvines mouth pull up into a slight smile at the look on his friends face.

"See. Told yuh he wasn't listenin" The sharpshooters comment earns him an eye roll from Squall which in turn earns the commander a glance full of worry from Selphie as she once again tries to burn that hole in his head to uncover his thoughts.

With a small start she turns her face towards Irvine and spits her tongue out "That hurt" her gaze drops to her cereal where she begins to shovel more and more of the sugary stuff into her mouth.

Squall sighs, grabs his tray and stands but before he gets the chance to leave he can hear the soft click as the loud speakers blare to life.

_"Will Squall, Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Seifer, and Quistis please report to the front gates. I repeat. Will Squall, Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Seifer, and Quistis please report to the front gates. Headmaster Cid is in need of your assistance."_

Without another thought the entire group in the cafeteria leave their trays on their table and begin their way towards the front gate. Irvine frowns at what could be so important so early in the morning, as Selphie begins to fidget with her fingers Squalls jaw tenses and he frowns.

What the hell could have possibly happened. Is Rinoa okay? She didn't leave did she? She promised she wouldn't go anywhere without him by her side.

"What the hells goin' on?" Zells gruff voice sounds from the left of the group and Squall can see Irvine physically tense. It seems Selphie notices as well because she changes places and situates herself between the three boys. Squall and Irvine are on her left side as Zell is on her right. The break in the group is obvious and its clear to Squall that it needs to be repaired before further damage is done.

Not one of them answers verbally, though Selphie shakes her head and shrugs. Not more than a few seconds later they make their way towards the front gate, just at the top of the second set of stairs the group spots Headmaster Cid and Odine, the former has a look of complete distress on his face.

"Headmaster, what's the problem?" Squall calls before they are even close to the two men.

Cid turns his attention away from Odine and its obvious to Squall as he clasps his hands behind his back that he's clutching something. Upon a closer and longer look he realizes that its a piece of paper. In the commanders mind that could mean only one thing.

"She's left." he states just as he comes to stand in front of Cid, the older mans eyes close for only a second as he finally holds the paper towards him and nods.

"Seems she thought it was best if she left. She didn't want to drag any of you into whatever it is that's happening to her."

Squalls gray eyes briefly glance at the paper where he notices she mentions heading towards Deling city. She wants him to follow her, to stop her, or to witness something otherwise she wouldnt have said 'Squall, I'll be in Deling City, from there I'm not sure where I'll go.' His head begins to swim with questions and thoughts. The past few days play before his eyes and he takes a deep shaky breath to pull himself together.

"Where is she g-?" Selphie begins to ask but he cuts her off "Deling City. From there she says she doesn't know where she'll go." there's next to no emotion in Squalls voice as his mind starts go over places they've been that would help Rinoa out.

"Odine. Where might she go?" Irvine turns towards the scientist completely ignoring the disgusted snort from Zell.

"Vell.. there iz the Zorcerezz Memorial. For any other areaz I will have to do rezearch." the small man sighed and without another word turned around and left the small group of unsure SeeDs.

"Watch it!" a deep voice barks from behind them, in the same direction that Odine and just gone. In answer to his 'order' the small scientist laughs "Zorry.. Very Zorry" a few grumbles can be heard and Squall finally brings his turns to see what the small commotion is all about.

"You're late." he raises his eyebrows as his glare lands on a grinning Seifer and very flushed Quistis.

"Woah.. Quisty!! Did you two just ha-" Seifers glare cuts Irvines train of speech. It would have been a more convincing glare had Seifer not smirked right after.

There's a slight awkward shuffle through the group, Irvine gives the pair an appraising look as Selphie tries to hide her giggles. Zell just looks revolted though Squall is sure to give them anything but a dead pan stare. He can hear Cid gently shuffle his feet from somewhere behind him. The awkward silence drags on and Squall can hear the buzz of Bite bug wings just outside the gate along with a group of students near by who begin to laugh hysterically at some joke. A light breeze picks up which carries the scent of the ocean and freshly cut grass. The sudden breeze seems to cool down the entire group and Quistis snaps out of whatever embarrassed trance she was just in.

"Ahem, anyways! Whats the problem?" her blue eyes scan the group and she frowns at the lack of one member. "Wheres Rinoa?" her eyes stop on Squalls face and she narrows her eyes in an attempt to figure things out.

"She left, she's in Deling City.. Or at least she's on her way there now." Their eyes lock and he can see her face form into a complete look of shock, along with Seifers. "She left? Without letting anyone know? How do you know she's in Deling?" the blond gun blade specialist places his hand on the distraught Quistis shoulder in an attempt to settle her down. "Sounds like something Heartilly would do." Seifer grumbles as he sighs in frustration.

"You'll all be useless here." Cids voice pulls the entire groups minds and eyes onto him, a gasp can be heard from who Squall assumes is Selphie. "Tch. What do you mean useless?" Zells voice is full of the shock they all feel. Cid simply smiles and motions to the entire group of young adults in front of him.

"It seems you all searching of your own to do." he catches and holds every one of their stares and glares before he steps forward to hand Squall what looks to be like a set of keys. As his hands close around the small metal items Cid speaks only loud enough for the young man to hear him "The break will fix itself, but it wont fix here with you being able to disappear." he smiles and winks, then walks away leaving Squall full of annoyance and slight anger.

"Lets go." he grumbles. Though his eyes finally take in the small Balamb insignia that's connected to a key chain of a red ship. The commander can't help the small smile as he turns and throws the keys to Selphie.

"No way!" she squeals with delight as she runs out the front gate leaving the rest of the group in complete confusion, all except Squall that is. With a deep sigh he nods his head after the spunky brunette as he begins to follow suit. Yet another adventure. He really wished things like this didn't exist.

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**A/N - hope you enjoyed another installment. I'll try to make the next chapters longer and full of more interesting stuff!!! READ AND REVIEW!! man!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thank you to the people who have reviewed, I really do enjoy them!!!**


	13. What Is going on?

**Disclaimer - Y'all know the drill! I don't own and have not made money off of Final Fantasy VIII or the charries. **

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They had been flying for hours and still Selphie refuses to land the Ragnarok.

"Tilmitt I swear to HYNE if you don't drop this thing to the ground I'm gonna-" Seifers growls are cut off by by a swift punch to the arm "-OW! Fuck!"

As he turns to see who has just caused him some form of pain his eyes land on Quistis, her mood is no longer cheerful as she is just as annoyed with Selphie, though she's a bit more nice about it.

After a few seconds of a mock stare down Quistis mouths 'let me deal with her' in which Seifer nods his head and walks to the back of the room where he leans against the wall just beside the door. Squall glances over to his left with a bit of shock at just how easily Quistis had taken control.

"Wonder who wears the pants in that relationship" Zell softly mutters from the commanders right which actually causes both men to chuckle.

Their eyes catch and Zell quickly frowns, his arms cross over his chest and he walks to the front where he comes to stand just across from Irvine. The sharpshooter has taken to ignoring the martial artist as his attention is occupied but the little brunette behind the wheel. A slight smirk appears as he leans his weight on his left foot, his arms cross over his chest as Selphie lets out a low sigh. Quistis has made her way up to the front of the control room where she gently places her hand on Selphie's shoulder, which causes her to jump and look up almost guiltily.

"Selphie you really should land. Were going to run out of fuel soon and then we'll fall and more than likely squish all of Deling City." this remark causes the room to fill with laughter as the ships driver scowls.

"Well, I didn't really wanna scare you guys buut..." her voice trails off as she begins to flick switches and press buttons.

With each movement nothing changes and when the sudden realization that something is wrong dawns on the group Squall quickly moves forward to stand behind Selphies chair. Hes barely aware the entire group has followed him, except for Zell who still stands as far from the group as possible only his eyes flit over every now and again.

"Whats wrong Selphie?" he tries so hard to keep from being angry that she would keep something from them, especially if something is wrong with the ship.

She doesn't answer. Squall can feel his patience getting thin and soon his right foot starts to tap, impatience clear in the way he sighs. Selphie has a bad habit of trying to keep things on the down low until she can get whatever it is under control, which has ended not so well in the past. So the fact that there's something wrong with the ship while all of them are on it and their flying above a city does not sit well with him.

"I-I can't take control. I mean, I can fly it and maneuver it, bu-but I can't land it. Something takes over when I try to bring it down." as if to demonstrate the small upset brunette begins the landing procedures but as soon as the ship hits a certain altitude she removes her hands as something takes over the controls.

Switches begin to flip back to where they were which causes some gasps and grunts to emanate from behind the commander. With a frown he closes his stormy eyes and tries to think of some way to get out of this little predicament when suddenly he's overtaken by such a bright light that it causes him to jump slightly. Slowly his eyes open to see where that could have come from and is shocked to see that he's face to face with a rather sombre looking young woman.

"Rinoa!" he gasps as recognition sets in and his feet step forward without his mind telling them too, though she takes a step back and shakes her head causing her black hair to sway. Her chocolate brown eyes are full of fear and pain but she refuses to let him touch her.

"Rin, where are you? Whats going on?" he feels so helpless, so afraid that he may lose her that he ignores how she flinches away from him and grabs her arms, which in turn causes her to bring her frightened gaze up to meet his.

Their so close that Squall can smell the flowery scent of her shampoo and he can almost taste her lips on his. Her breaths are coming short and raspy as she begins to cry, tears streak down her cheeks as her hands come up touch his face.

"I'm sorry. Oh Squall I am so very sorry. Not only for what happened, but for whats about too." her body begins to shake as she starts to cry harder and all Squall can do is pull her to his chest and fall to the ground with her in his arms.

He swiftly pulls her into his lap where he cradles her as if she were a child until she stops her tears long enough for him to ask "What do you mean? Whats about to happen Rin?" his question is met with silence and after a few minutes he begins to grow impatient.

"Rin! I can't help you if you wont tell me?! You have to let me in!" Squalls so frustrated that he's pushed her shoulders back far enough so that he can look in the eyes, his grip begins to tighten on her arms and he can see the shocked look in her eyes.

"Frustrating isnt it?" she smiles slightly. He feels so shocked that no words come to mind, luckily Rinoa fills the silence.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I love you. Don't ever forget that!" she reaches up and plants a soft kiss on his lips.

He's barely aware that she's pulled back until he hears a whispered "Wake up." his eyes shut tighter as he wills whomevers voice it is to go away, until his whole body begins to shake.

"Wake up!" the voice sounds familiar but he still refuses to open his eyes.

He can't let Rinoa go! Not now! He can feel her body begin to dissolve against his and it feels as if he's been lowered to the ground, no maybe not the ground there's some softens to it. Confusion pulses through his entire body and he doesn't know what to do. Suddenly its as if he's that lonely child at the orphanage, so scared and all alone. He can feel tears as they threaten to form and fall from his eyes but he refuses. He can't cry. Not now, not until its over and she's safe in his arms.

"Squall! Since when does captain puberty faint?!" all it takes is the one comment for Squalls eyes fly open only to land on a pair of bright blue eyes.

"Zell! Get away from my face." he grumbles as his eyes finally recognize the blond martial artists tattooed face.

Zell quickly jumps back and crosses his arms as Squall finally pushes himself into a sitting position. With a quick look around he realizes that he no longer stands behind Selphies chair, and upon closer examination he realizes that he's no longer in the control room. The walls here are a sort of beige with some cheap looking painted flowers in even cheaper looking frames hanging just across the room from his bed. His eyes travel to his right where they come to land on another bed, the sheets are some sort of beach theme only instead of being multiple colors the palm trees and lines are all beige as well.

"Hotel room in Deling. Tch. You passed out." Zell grumbles from the corner of the room, his backs against the wall and his arms are crossed. His blue gaze narrows as Squalls eyes meet his.

"The Ragnarok?" he questions, his eyes flit to Seifer this time as the tall blond grunts.

"One, you_ fainted_-" he puts emphasis on the last word as he smirks "-and two, we were finally able to land. Quistis, Selphie and Irvine took off to check out Caraways. They seemed to think she would go there." Squall knows their wrong and its evident Seifer does as well with they way he speaks about it.

With a deep breath Squall manages to get himself up right where he swings his legs over the side of the bed, he runs his gloved hand through his hair in thought and then rests his elbows on his legs.

"She won't be there. She's not even in Deling anymore." he frowns and places his head in his hands where he lets out a frustrated sigh.  
"Rin where are you?" he whispers to himself not really caring if the other two men hear him or not. He can hear someone shuffle their feet as they both clear their throats, clearly not knowing what to say to the distraught young man.

"So you were mumbling while you were out.." Zell breaks the silence that has become awkward, his voice is soft which causes Squalls gaze to turn sharply in Zells direction, he knows he looks confused cause the other young man sighs and steps forward slightly.

"Well, you were asking questions actually. Something about whats going to happen, and then you'd mumble about how bright it was. You even yelled out Rinoas name." he frowns slightly though his arms uncross as he runs his own hand through his blond hair.

"What did you dream about?" a soft female voice chirps up from just behind Seifer as he hears the door softly click shut.

Selphie rounds the corner first where she comes to take a seat on the bed across from Squall, her eyes are full of worry as she gently reaches forward to take his hands in hers. "Was it Rinny? Did she tell you where she was going?"

He can't handle all her questions right now and though it touches his heart that Selphie truly cares for him he just wishes that she would leave him be.

"Sephy babe, I'm sure he'll tell us all in due time." Irvines Galbadian drawl emanates from the area of the hotel room door and soon after he strides into Squalls view.

The cowboy saunters over to stand just on the other side of the second bed, his back rests against the wall as he pulls his cowboy hat down over his eyes. Squall recognizes this as the sharpshooters tell when he's beginning to think, or if he's hiding something. Selphies frown deepens as she takes her hands away from Squalls and folds them in her lap, her eyes follow suit as she begins to play with a small ring on her pinkie finger, this Squall notes is her tell. Its blatantly obvious that they know something and the plain secrecy begins to get on the young mans last nerve.

"What did you guys find out?" he opts for ignoring them both as he turns his gaze towards Quistis.

If anyone will tell him anything its her. She sighs slightly and he can tell that she's torn between telling him and not saying anything at all. "Quistis. Please." his eyes lock onto hers, he hopes that she can see just how desperate he's become in the search for his lost love. The instructor takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

"Squall. Before I say anything you have to promise me that you won't do anything rash" her voice is firm which causes Squall to frown.

Why do people keep asking him these sorts of things before actually telling him whats wrong? How can he promise to not do anything rash when he has no idea how he'll feel after they tell him whatever it is they don't want to tell him? After a moment of consideration and unspoken questions he nods his head, she takes this as a sign to continue.

"Well it seems that Odine knows a little more than hes let on." her voice trails off as Squall jumps to his feet.

"What?" his voice wavers with the fury that begins to build up in his body.

Quistis visibly jumps, Selphie quickly brings her gaze up to stare at him just as Irvine pulls his hat slightly lower over his eyes. Seifer and Zell take the news almost as good as Squall just has, the commanders aware that Zell's in his usual pissed off stance, legs apart fists clenched at his sides. "

Tch! That no good lousy ass-" Seifer cuts off the martial artists angry tirade and steps forward

"Chicken-wuss shut the fuck up. Quist. Are you sure?" Squalls never known Seifer to ask questions before acting out so his face shows blatant shock at the question. Quistis nods her head and takes a deep breath, she's visibly shaken by the news and maybe even by their reactions. With a frown Squall quickly makes his way across the room ignoring the stares of his comrades.

Irvine tilts his head in the commanders direction "Where--" Squall cuts him off "I need to be alone. I'll be back... soon" he grumbles over his shoulder as he allows the door to shut behind him, leaving it and the wall between him and his friends.

_'Alone. That's all I'll ever be.'_ He angrily sighs to himself as he makes his way towards the elevator. As he comes to stand in front of the metal doors he reaches forward to press the down button and then proceeds to cross his arms where he waits impatiently. Finally after a few minutes the doors ding open and arms reach out to grab him by the shoulders, he's taken by such surprise that when he fights back its too late, he's already been pulled into the elevator and the doors slide shut.

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**A/N - Soo I hope you guys enjoyed this addition! let me know what you think.. For the love of GOD would you all review? It takes two seconds to tell me if you like the story or not!!**


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